Well; it's almost May, so I guess it's time for an entry! Almost an entire YEAR has lapsed since I left Juticalpa, all of my students, a group of friends I hold nearest and dearest to my heart, amazing memories all crammed into one intense, challenging, and life-altering year; undoubtedly the best year of the 29 I've had on this earth. Arguably, it was also the most difficult. It was worth every single moment and event I experienced.
In 17 days, I will board a plane and go back to the place that became my second home for a nine day visit. I will spend a day teaching my students who are now almost third graders (and will probably be a foot taller than they were when I left them in June.) I'll join Wendy in the new kitchen making pupusas and baleadas. I'll eat more frijoles and plaintains than I can stomach (and then go back for seconds). I'll walk to the Esso station for a cappachino or a granita, and have to use a half a package of babywipes afterwards to clean my blackened feet. I'll hold baby Ana Valeria in my arms for the first time; and become a Honduran godmother. I'll eat tacos in the park, and drink water from a bag for 2 lempira. I can't believe I am saying this; but I am almost looking forward to being called "Mamacita" and getting hissed at by the local machismo riff-raff. Being the feminist woman that I am; it even shocks ME that I think I'll be able to laugh at it all now. Why, you ask? Well, it's all part of the memories!
I have to admit; I wish I were more excited about my upcoming visit. I don't want this entry to come off as me not looking forward to seeing my friends and spending time there-it's actually quite the opposite. I just thought that by now I would already be packing my suitcase, planning activities for my students, and plotting out how I'm going to take full advantage of every moment that I have back "home", but for some reason, I find myself more feeling anxious about the adventure that lies before me. I think my issue is that I am experiencing the same exact range of emotions I felt at this time last year when I was making the decision about whether or not to stay or to leave. Once I had made my decision; I remember how painful leaving, and preparing myself for my actual depature was. June 21st 2009 was easily one of the most difficult days of my life. I could even go so far as to say it was heart-wrenching. We all know I can be dramatic, but I don't think anything has ever been so difficult to do in my life. I left behind a place, a culture, and a group of people who took me in, loved me, and made me feel at home despite not being one of them. I left feeling that I actually belonged there and was a part of the community. I don't believe there are too many places in the world where I would feel that way as an outsider. I really do feel like everything that happens in life is meant to be, and I was sent there for a reason. I feel like it happened at exactly the right time in my life; being young enough to have the freedom to go abroad for a year and volunteer; but old enough that I had gotten my selfish party years out of my system and was fully dedicated to what I was doing. I also knew I couldn't stay forever; and the whole experience did exactly as it was supposed to in the time span I was planning on being there- it changed everything about me- my values, my beliefs, my view of the world outside of Boston. I knew that leaving was going to be difficult; but that it was time to close out one chapter of my life and start another. And so; I went.
I guess all I can say is that Juticalpa, Olancho Aid, Santa Clara, my students, my friends, and everything that encompassed that experience made me feel fulfilled, challenged, and inspired in a way I'd never felt before in my life. Although spending a year there was difficult; I felt like I had a real purpose for being there. In short; my life felt meaningful, and I felt like my being there had a real, positive impact on children's and people's lives. (Their's had an even bigger impact on mine; but we all know that from every one of my entries!) I felt like every day was a part of the experience- every situation was a page in my storybook and an important part of what I would take from my time there in the long haul; after returning to the States. Unfortunately; every fear and thought I had in my mind last year at this time as I prepared to come home has rung true. You can only talk about your stories so much. Most people will never understand- they didn't live out the experience that you did. It doesn't make them bad people, but it makes you feel very lonely at times, like no one understands something that is so important to you and defines you so much. I also don't think I'll ever feel that way again. I'd be lying if I said it didn't depress me at times. I am so grateful to have had that experience; but I wonder if I'll ever feel as inspired and fulfilled again. I feel the same exact way I felt before I left for Honduras- like something was missing. I am grateful for all of the love and support that I have in my life, and the things many people take for granted, but still; I seek greater challenges. I have eliminated a lot of the negativity from my life since my return and have tried to only focus on making positive changes in my life, but still; I feel uninspired. I don't know if the emptiness and boredom I feel is just a part of returning from a year abroad, due in part to the bad economy (I know lots of other people struggling with this feeling- it's not just me!), or something else - like a calling to build a career around charity work. (Anyone want to hire me as a fundraiser?! Seriously! If I am passionate about a cause; you all know how hard I will work!) All I know is I left my heart in Juticalpa, and I'm looking forward to feeling enveloped in all of that love, hope, and comfort- even if it's only for a short time.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
New Beginnings and Opportunities
Well; it's been a long time (once again) since I blogged. To be perfectly honest; I find it difficult to find things to blog about now that I'm settled back into life here in the good ole U.S of A. At least; I find that the topics I could actually blog about are probably irrelevant to the initial topics I started this blog for. I guess since there's been a turn of events in my life; it's time to update you all on how life has been going. (Although these updates pale in comparison to my Honduran stories)
I have decided to venture back into working in a school and back into the classroom. I'm sure this not a shocker for those of you who have been saying that teaching is my calling and I have a way with children. I don't doubt that I do. I will be starting at Trinity Academy in the new preschool program on April 5th, and I have to admit that I'm extremely excited. There's just something about the preparation and positive energy in a young learning enviroment that I can't seem to want to steer away from. I don't know what it is, but I have developed such a love for the value of a good education. I know I always had these values ingrained in me, but I also know I never would have accepted this true passion were it not for my time in Juticalpa. In a country where the average person does not get past second grade, I feel honored to have had the opportunity to devote a year of my life to educating a small percentage of these beautiful children, and to give them hope for the future.
I have decided after being away from a school setting that this is the type of enviroment in which I will always want to work. I still have such an interest in non-profit fundraising, and have decided that my dream job will be in development and fundraising for a school. This way; I can combine my love for children, education, and helping those less fortunate and have the best of both worlds. (Meaning being in a school enviroment and helping with the funding of education resources, scholarships, financial aid for underprivileged children, etc). This particular opportunity at Trinity will afford me the experience and contacts I need to work towards this ultimate career goal. I'm very excited about it, despite the fact that it might not financially be the best opportunity for me right now.
Ahhhhh, money! Just the word alone frustrates me more than anything these days. I have to preface these next few paragraphs by saying that I apologize to anyone I have offended in the past few months by my verbal statements, facebook status updates, and emails regarding the topic of money and finances. I have had several people close to me (all of whom I love dearly and value the opinions of) tell me that I may not be making the best move financially by accepting an "entry level" type of job position in a school enviroment. (I currently nanny and am making decent money). I know I have made blanket statements saying that I feel as though all anyone in this country cares about is money, and that money drives everything. I've also made comments about preferring to be living with very little but be living my life with passion and doing for others, than to be wealthier and be a miserable person. I wish to publically apologize for any of these types of statements that I may have made that could have offended anybody. I think sometimes I need to step back and think before I speak in regards to this topic. YES, there are many times since my return that I feel sickened by the greed and materialism of the average American person. YES, there are times when I feel as though the average American person would rather work in an enviroment that made them miserable but supplied them with a huge weekly paycheck, than to follow their passions and make a meager income. This IS America, the land of opportunity after all.
In thinking back on these statements I have made, I realize that I have been afforded an opportunity that most people will never experience in their lives (or at least for as long of a time period as I did). They haven't met the people that I've met along my journey. These beautiful people had far less than anyone I've ever met in the States, but they feel happy and blessed for what little they DO have. They taught me how to be grateful and humble. I am no better than anybody else just because my values may be different from the average person's after my time abroad. Instead of judging others and putting myself up on a pedestal; I should be celebrating this beautiful gift of my own values and following my passions. After my time in Honduras; I can honestly say I'd rather be making minimum wage and be surrounded by the people I love and be doing something meaningful with my life than sitting in a corporate office cubicle miserable on a daily basis, with a new Benz and a 1200.00 a month South End apartment. Everyone's definition of happiness is different- Honduras taught me what brings ME happiness - genuine love and kindness for one another, living a life with purpose, authenticity, generousity, and simplicity. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
I have decided to venture back into working in a school and back into the classroom. I'm sure this not a shocker for those of you who have been saying that teaching is my calling and I have a way with children. I don't doubt that I do. I will be starting at Trinity Academy in the new preschool program on April 5th, and I have to admit that I'm extremely excited. There's just something about the preparation and positive energy in a young learning enviroment that I can't seem to want to steer away from. I don't know what it is, but I have developed such a love for the value of a good education. I know I always had these values ingrained in me, but I also know I never would have accepted this true passion were it not for my time in Juticalpa. In a country where the average person does not get past second grade, I feel honored to have had the opportunity to devote a year of my life to educating a small percentage of these beautiful children, and to give them hope for the future.
I have decided after being away from a school setting that this is the type of enviroment in which I will always want to work. I still have such an interest in non-profit fundraising, and have decided that my dream job will be in development and fundraising for a school. This way; I can combine my love for children, education, and helping those less fortunate and have the best of both worlds. (Meaning being in a school enviroment and helping with the funding of education resources, scholarships, financial aid for underprivileged children, etc). This particular opportunity at Trinity will afford me the experience and contacts I need to work towards this ultimate career goal. I'm very excited about it, despite the fact that it might not financially be the best opportunity for me right now.
Ahhhhh, money! Just the word alone frustrates me more than anything these days. I have to preface these next few paragraphs by saying that I apologize to anyone I have offended in the past few months by my verbal statements, facebook status updates, and emails regarding the topic of money and finances. I have had several people close to me (all of whom I love dearly and value the opinions of) tell me that I may not be making the best move financially by accepting an "entry level" type of job position in a school enviroment. (I currently nanny and am making decent money). I know I have made blanket statements saying that I feel as though all anyone in this country cares about is money, and that money drives everything. I've also made comments about preferring to be living with very little but be living my life with passion and doing for others, than to be wealthier and be a miserable person. I wish to publically apologize for any of these types of statements that I may have made that could have offended anybody. I think sometimes I need to step back and think before I speak in regards to this topic. YES, there are many times since my return that I feel sickened by the greed and materialism of the average American person. YES, there are times when I feel as though the average American person would rather work in an enviroment that made them miserable but supplied them with a huge weekly paycheck, than to follow their passions and make a meager income. This IS America, the land of opportunity after all.
In thinking back on these statements I have made, I realize that I have been afforded an opportunity that most people will never experience in their lives (or at least for as long of a time period as I did). They haven't met the people that I've met along my journey. These beautiful people had far less than anyone I've ever met in the States, but they feel happy and blessed for what little they DO have. They taught me how to be grateful and humble. I am no better than anybody else just because my values may be different from the average person's after my time abroad. Instead of judging others and putting myself up on a pedestal; I should be celebrating this beautiful gift of my own values and following my passions. After my time in Honduras; I can honestly say I'd rather be making minimum wage and be surrounded by the people I love and be doing something meaningful with my life than sitting in a corporate office cubicle miserable on a daily basis, with a new Benz and a 1200.00 a month South End apartment. Everyone's definition of happiness is different- Honduras taught me what brings ME happiness - genuine love and kindness for one another, living a life with purpose, authenticity, generousity, and simplicity. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
I'm Back...
I have finally listened to people's pleas for more of my writings and genuinely touching compliments and comments about the blog that I kept during my time in Honduras. So; I am back. It's official. I am going to start blogging again.
At first I wasn't sure WHAT to blog about. I mean; my year abroad has come and gone. I no longer have insane and amusing stories to share about slaughtering cows or showering with five gallon buckets of Aguazul. I don't wake up to find 4 foot iguanas running around on my rooftop anymore. I no longer have 2 inch cockroaches or tarantulas residing in my kitchen. When I go out for my daily walks now; I don't stop and start random games of soccer with children or witness people in the Boston Common plucking their armpit hairs in public. (Although I do witness some equally odd behaviors I suppose! haha) All those cultural differences and experiences were exciting to blog about. Now; they are lost. I have returned to a life of normalcy.
Or have I really? I've been home now for almost 8 months and I don't think I have ever really felt like things were "normal" during that time span. Sure; I have picked up where I left off in certain aspects- I spend time with my friends, I have found a full time job and ride public transportation back and forth to work every day; rather than riding in the bed of a truck with dust in my face. I know that every morning when I wake up to get ready for work that a hot shower awaits. I know that when I go grocery shopping; I can find everything that I need in one shop. There's no going to Santa Gema all the way over the other side of town just to purchase peanut butter. Similarly; when I get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom; I know that the electricity from my lamp will lead the way. (My feet are looking a lot nicer on U.S soil from not having so many stubbed toes from walking in the dark!)
With all of that being said; most people would say "Of course! She's readjusted to life back in the United States! Things are back to normal!" Yet the thoughts that run through my mind on a daily basis and the vivid pictures I have permanently painted inside my mind prove otherwise. I don't think I'll ever feel "normal" again after having had such a powerful and amazing experience.
I haven't shared a lot of these thoughts and feelings with anyone for a couple of reasons. First of all; I'm going to come right out and just be honest- it's sometimes too painful. It at times causes me to become depressed because I feel so often like I have experienced things that 99% of the people in this world never will. That's not to say that I don't feel lucky and blessed to have experienced them; but I have a new sense of lonliness that I at times can't even verbally express (or even put into writing). The easiest way to put it is to just say it. I feel so often like people cannot even begin to understand. Even more depressing at times, is that I feel like most people don't WANT to understand or just don't care. I feel lonely because I feel like there is such a huge part of me that other people will never be able to understand. It's not to say that I am a better person than these people; because I know that I am not. Just two years ago; I myself would have turned a totally blind eye or tuned someone out who was trying to share similar experiences with me. I feel like in some ways; I have been given a beautiful gift to have lived among such poverty and sadness mixed with such joy and love. The downside is that I come back to the United States with a totally different viewpoint on things that sets me apart from most of the people in this country. It makes for feeling frustrated and helpless often.
For me; the situation down in Haiti during these past couple of weeks has been heartwrenching for me to hear about. Having lived in a third world country for a year; the only image that has been replaying in my mind for two weeks straight is of Honduras. Tegucigulpa in particular, because it's such a big city filled with hillside slums. One cannot possibly not take a drive through the capital of Honduras and not be amazed at the poverty surrounding them. These hillside slum structures look like a category 1 hurricane would totally destroy them all. I can't even begin to imagine what a 7.1 earthquake would do to an area with so little infrastructure and stability. I have never been to Port-au-Prince Haiti; but I have a decent idea in my mind of what it must look like. I have had to stop watching the news coverage; because I am continually brought to tears by what I see.
It has been in discussing Haiti and the earthquake that I realize just how much my time in Honduras impacted my life and my beliefs. Every once in a while since my return; I will have a "defining moment" where I realize just how different of a person I am after my experience. No moment was as defining as a recent discussion I had with my peers regarding the catastrophe and our response as a country to what has been going on there. It also has awoken my passion again- feeling a need to open the eyes of other people to the harsh reality of the way most of the people in our world live. It broke my heart to see some of the outright meanhearted comments that people made about the earthquake. A person my own age whom I have known for years made a statement saying "If the roles were reversed; they wouldn't do anything to help us." This comment alone shocked me, because I never realized how uneducated many people are. This man's statement is in fact false; because Haiti made a modest donation in an attempt to help the United States after both 9/11 and Katrina. It made me remember that most people never could begin to understand Honduras (or any other third world country) and its people. Anyone who has been to Juticalpa knows the opposite to be true. Those who have so little tend in the materialistic sense are oftentimes more giving than those who have so much. Remember my story about DonaMarina walking 10 miles in the 110 degree blistering sun to bring me medicine when I was sick? This is a woman who lives off of roughly 2.00 a day and has electricity or running water in her home. She paid for this medication with her mediocre paycheck. I rest my case. Clearly there are people everywhere in our world who are not generous people, but I have never experienced the level of authenticity, love, and generousity that I experienced in Honduras.
Later on in my "Haiti Banter" another individual that I attended school with said "I was poor too growing up. We should be helping people here first!" This led me to do a great deal of thinking about the various "levels" of poverty in this world. I am by no means undermining the need for help right here on our own homefront. I know that very real poverty exists and we need to be making strides to help those around us as well; but it made me think about the difference between poverty here in the United States and poverty in a third world country. Chances are if you are living in the most extreme of poverty (as so many in our world do), you don't have running water or electricity. You may be living in a structure made out of strips of wood and medal, with a curtain hanging for a front door. You most probably do not have access to any type of sterile healthcare. You may go to bed hungry many nights of your life. You probably do not have a chance to improve your life due to terrible living conditions and an undeveloped education system. How can you improve your life and make something of yourself; when at 9 years old you cannot go to school. You cannot attend school because you need to sell bags of water or fruit in the park in order to put food on the table for your family. Again; I am not undermining poverty on the US homefront; but it pales in comparison to the poverty I was surrounded by in Honduras. If you are without a job here or are homeless; there are programs in place to help you. You can turn to a homeless shelter for a hot shower, a warm bed, and food to fill your belly. If you are born into poverty and have the motivation and drive; you can change your supposed fate and better yourself through making the right decisions, siezing opportunities, and education. The people in undeveloped countries lot is more or less picked out from them from the moment they are born. They have no choice but to live the difficult lives that they lead. We are so fortunate to have been born into a country where so many opportunities exist. We have the free will to become whatever we want to be. These people are helpless, and not by choice.
This is going to sound really negative; and I hate speaking in a negative way about my own country and its people; but this is my blog and I have a right to voice my opinion (and I know you all know I have no problem doing just that!) After returning home; I find so many more people to be ignorant than I ever did before. So many people adopt the whole "out of sight, out of mind" mentality. I had reached a point in my post-Honduran journey where I just stopped talking about my experience because people's negative comments and mockery was starting to bother me.
You know what? I will never be the same again Post-Honduras. My time there taught me compassion. It taught me to be more open-minded. It taught me to be grateful. I have an experience that no one will ever be able to take away from me; one that shaped me into the person I am today. The situation in Haiti reignited the fire in me to share my stories and to speak up for what I believe in, no matter who may mock me. Honduras is such a huge part of me, so my story isn't really over. I may be a gringa who has returned to her homeland; but I will forever carry the important values with me that I developed there. I will continue to educate people on the realities of the way most people in our world live. As far as those who have been mocking me for being so passionate about the people I grew to love in Juticalpa and the people in Haiti? I will NEVER apologize for caring about anyone- no matter WHERE in the world they may reside.
At first I wasn't sure WHAT to blog about. I mean; my year abroad has come and gone. I no longer have insane and amusing stories to share about slaughtering cows or showering with five gallon buckets of Aguazul. I don't wake up to find 4 foot iguanas running around on my rooftop anymore. I no longer have 2 inch cockroaches or tarantulas residing in my kitchen. When I go out for my daily walks now; I don't stop and start random games of soccer with children or witness people in the Boston Common plucking their armpit hairs in public. (Although I do witness some equally odd behaviors I suppose! haha) All those cultural differences and experiences were exciting to blog about. Now; they are lost. I have returned to a life of normalcy.
Or have I really? I've been home now for almost 8 months and I don't think I have ever really felt like things were "normal" during that time span. Sure; I have picked up where I left off in certain aspects- I spend time with my friends, I have found a full time job and ride public transportation back and forth to work every day; rather than riding in the bed of a truck with dust in my face. I know that every morning when I wake up to get ready for work that a hot shower awaits. I know that when I go grocery shopping; I can find everything that I need in one shop. There's no going to Santa Gema all the way over the other side of town just to purchase peanut butter. Similarly; when I get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom; I know that the electricity from my lamp will lead the way. (My feet are looking a lot nicer on U.S soil from not having so many stubbed toes from walking in the dark!)
With all of that being said; most people would say "Of course! She's readjusted to life back in the United States! Things are back to normal!" Yet the thoughts that run through my mind on a daily basis and the vivid pictures I have permanently painted inside my mind prove otherwise. I don't think I'll ever feel "normal" again after having had such a powerful and amazing experience.
I haven't shared a lot of these thoughts and feelings with anyone for a couple of reasons. First of all; I'm going to come right out and just be honest- it's sometimes too painful. It at times causes me to become depressed because I feel so often like I have experienced things that 99% of the people in this world never will. That's not to say that I don't feel lucky and blessed to have experienced them; but I have a new sense of lonliness that I at times can't even verbally express (or even put into writing). The easiest way to put it is to just say it. I feel so often like people cannot even begin to understand. Even more depressing at times, is that I feel like most people don't WANT to understand or just don't care. I feel lonely because I feel like there is such a huge part of me that other people will never be able to understand. It's not to say that I am a better person than these people; because I know that I am not. Just two years ago; I myself would have turned a totally blind eye or tuned someone out who was trying to share similar experiences with me. I feel like in some ways; I have been given a beautiful gift to have lived among such poverty and sadness mixed with such joy and love. The downside is that I come back to the United States with a totally different viewpoint on things that sets me apart from most of the people in this country. It makes for feeling frustrated and helpless often.
For me; the situation down in Haiti during these past couple of weeks has been heartwrenching for me to hear about. Having lived in a third world country for a year; the only image that has been replaying in my mind for two weeks straight is of Honduras. Tegucigulpa in particular, because it's such a big city filled with hillside slums. One cannot possibly not take a drive through the capital of Honduras and not be amazed at the poverty surrounding them. These hillside slum structures look like a category 1 hurricane would totally destroy them all. I can't even begin to imagine what a 7.1 earthquake would do to an area with so little infrastructure and stability. I have never been to Port-au-Prince Haiti; but I have a decent idea in my mind of what it must look like. I have had to stop watching the news coverage; because I am continually brought to tears by what I see.
It has been in discussing Haiti and the earthquake that I realize just how much my time in Honduras impacted my life and my beliefs. Every once in a while since my return; I will have a "defining moment" where I realize just how different of a person I am after my experience. No moment was as defining as a recent discussion I had with my peers regarding the catastrophe and our response as a country to what has been going on there. It also has awoken my passion again- feeling a need to open the eyes of other people to the harsh reality of the way most of the people in our world live. It broke my heart to see some of the outright meanhearted comments that people made about the earthquake. A person my own age whom I have known for years made a statement saying "If the roles were reversed; they wouldn't do anything to help us." This comment alone shocked me, because I never realized how uneducated many people are. This man's statement is in fact false; because Haiti made a modest donation in an attempt to help the United States after both 9/11 and Katrina. It made me remember that most people never could begin to understand Honduras (or any other third world country) and its people. Anyone who has been to Juticalpa knows the opposite to be true. Those who have so little tend in the materialistic sense are oftentimes more giving than those who have so much. Remember my story about DonaMarina walking 10 miles in the 110 degree blistering sun to bring me medicine when I was sick? This is a woman who lives off of roughly 2.00 a day and has electricity or running water in her home. She paid for this medication with her mediocre paycheck. I rest my case. Clearly there are people everywhere in our world who are not generous people, but I have never experienced the level of authenticity, love, and generousity that I experienced in Honduras.
Later on in my "Haiti Banter" another individual that I attended school with said "I was poor too growing up. We should be helping people here first!" This led me to do a great deal of thinking about the various "levels" of poverty in this world. I am by no means undermining the need for help right here on our own homefront. I know that very real poverty exists and we need to be making strides to help those around us as well; but it made me think about the difference between poverty here in the United States and poverty in a third world country. Chances are if you are living in the most extreme of poverty (as so many in our world do), you don't have running water or electricity. You may be living in a structure made out of strips of wood and medal, with a curtain hanging for a front door. You most probably do not have access to any type of sterile healthcare. You may go to bed hungry many nights of your life. You probably do not have a chance to improve your life due to terrible living conditions and an undeveloped education system. How can you improve your life and make something of yourself; when at 9 years old you cannot go to school. You cannot attend school because you need to sell bags of water or fruit in the park in order to put food on the table for your family. Again; I am not undermining poverty on the US homefront; but it pales in comparison to the poverty I was surrounded by in Honduras. If you are without a job here or are homeless; there are programs in place to help you. You can turn to a homeless shelter for a hot shower, a warm bed, and food to fill your belly. If you are born into poverty and have the motivation and drive; you can change your supposed fate and better yourself through making the right decisions, siezing opportunities, and education. The people in undeveloped countries lot is more or less picked out from them from the moment they are born. They have no choice but to live the difficult lives that they lead. We are so fortunate to have been born into a country where so many opportunities exist. We have the free will to become whatever we want to be. These people are helpless, and not by choice.
This is going to sound really negative; and I hate speaking in a negative way about my own country and its people; but this is my blog and I have a right to voice my opinion (and I know you all know I have no problem doing just that!) After returning home; I find so many more people to be ignorant than I ever did before. So many people adopt the whole "out of sight, out of mind" mentality. I had reached a point in my post-Honduran journey where I just stopped talking about my experience because people's negative comments and mockery was starting to bother me.
You know what? I will never be the same again Post-Honduras. My time there taught me compassion. It taught me to be more open-minded. It taught me to be grateful. I have an experience that no one will ever be able to take away from me; one that shaped me into the person I am today. The situation in Haiti reignited the fire in me to share my stories and to speak up for what I believe in, no matter who may mock me. Honduras is such a huge part of me, so my story isn't really over. I may be a gringa who has returned to her homeland; but I will forever carry the important values with me that I developed there. I will continue to educate people on the realities of the way most people in our world live. As far as those who have been mocking me for being so passionate about the people I grew to love in Juticalpa and the people in Haiti? I will NEVER apologize for caring about anyone- no matter WHERE in the world they may reside.
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