Well everyone, it's the grand post you have all been waiting for. I have been avoiding having to make this post for well over a month now. I feel that in writing this; I am closing out this chapter of my life. My heart has officially broken-and I have to muster up the strength to try to write about where I am at emotionally and mentally; and I'm really struggling with it. I know though that I should do it before I lost all of the initial emotions and strangeness that comes with moving back to the States after spending a year abroad in a third world country. I am officially back in the United States of America.
I sit hear listening to Daddy Yankee's "Lllamanda de Emergencia" and Aventura's "Lagrimas" and I realize just how much my life has changed in the past year. There were many trials and tribulations during my time in Honduras- but I sit here with a heavy and aching heart, longing to relive all of those moments with all of the people who came to mean so much to me- all of the people I learned to love with every ounce of my being. My life as I knew it in the United States feels so odd to me now. Things that I never gave a second thought to prior to my time in Honduras feel strange, and perhaps even a little bit crazy. I realize that I am forever changed- I am longing for the things that were once so foreign to me.
In ways; I've been trying to keep myself busy in order to avoid processing the fact that I have left Juticalpa. Looking at the pictures posted from a recent Peace March; I recognize many faces in the crowd. Some of them I passed on a crowded street en route or back home from the Fruteria. Some of them I sat next to during Sunday evening masses at the Cathedral. Others sat next to me on Saturday mornings while I sipped Granita's in the Esso on Saturday mornings with Bree; as we tried to find some brief relief from the extreme heat of Juticalpa. Still others I exchanged an "adios" or a smile with as I walked down the boulevard to El Negrito's for a delicious baleada. No matter how I look at it; I connected with so many people there. Some on a more personal level; others may have just been a friendly face that I took for granted on my daily walks. I just know that when I look at those pictures; I feel homesick. That's right-homesick. Juticalpa truly became a second home to me. I still can't even begin to process the fact that I up and moved thousands of miles away for an entire year; integrating myself into a culture and a language that was totally foreign to me. Somehow though; I really did it- the adventure is really over. I still can't even believe that this blog is coming to a close. A year ago; when I first arrived in Juticalpa, I had no idea how I was going to get through it. My initial worries (bugs, water issues, and other household pests) soon became second nature to me as I adapted to living the Honduran lifestyle. There were many trials and tribulations- but I did it. I wouldn't take back my experience for the world, and my heart aches to be back with the people who I've grown to love with every ounce of my being.
The readjustment period has definitely been difficult thus far. How I long to eat a morning baleada while talking about the shortcomings of men in the cafeteria with Wendy and Ena. I wish I could laugh with Brenda about Malcon's antics- and how many times he got sent to the office on any given day. I miss the sound of the "Happy People Church" on a weeknight, all of it's members singing "Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord" repeatedly for hours on end. I miss the sound of crickets chirping in my backyard and the buzzing sound of gecko's crawling up my walls. I can't believe I'm saying this- but I even miss the cold showers! There was something that was so simple about jumping in and out so fast because the water was cold. Now; I find myself taking these long, hot, luxurious showers. I think I realized that showering is simply a means of getting clean. Here; it's an extravagant experience! I miss the simplicity that is Honduras. I miss power outages; and spending hours sitting around chatting with friends. I miss Wendy teasing me about my cooking skills. I miss the sound of Donamarina's laugh as I complained about the machoism that is the typical Honduran man. I ache to turn on the radio and hear Aventura blasting. I can still listen to merengue and bachata here; but I have to download it.
*To be continued when I can collect my thoughts*
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Writer's Block....
Hey all,
Just an update to let you know I am alive and well. I have to admit that since I made the decision to leave here; I have had a bit of "Writer's Block". Maybe it is partially because writing makes me think too much and get too emotional. Maybe it is just that I am trying to soak up all the love around me and take advantage of every minute I have left here. I don't know precisely what it is...but I'm having a hard time collecting my thoughts. Therefore; I hope to have more to say very soon.
As I write this I have to report I only have 6 more days with my little munchkins. Next Wednesday is the last day of school. I don't know how to emotionally prepare for it. Today though; I became misty-eyed for the first time. I asked my student's what was so special about June (expecting to hear them say "NO SCHOOL FOR 3 MONTHS!"). One little girl (Sammi) reponded with "no me gusta Junio" (I don't like June"). I asked her why and she said, "Ms. Ernest va para los Estados". They then all began saying "No te vas, Ms! No te vas!" (Don't go, Miss, don't go!") It was the first of many misty-eyed moments I know I will experience over the course of the next month. How I am going to find the courage to do this; I do not know. The day to my departure inches closer and closer. It's June. I officially leave here in 27 days. I feel like I can't even worry about my future and what I will do with everything I have learned here until I say my goodbyes. This Gringa's heart is starting to break! I'm not going to lie!!!! Please pray for me to have faith, direction, and strength as I rip myself from this place that has become a second home to me and attempt to make the decisions needed to help these people (and other's like them) in every way that I can.
In the Esso today; I heard an old song (old for me means '98 haha) by Jewel. I was struck by the message of this song in a way that I never have been before...because it reminded me a lot of the people and experiences I've had while in Honduras. The line that stuck out most to me was: "Poverty stole your golden shoes but it didn't steal your laughter." This reminded me so much of so many friends I have made along the way here. So many lack monetary riches; but the love, sense of humor, and kindness of their hearts is still there; and in many cases; in tenfold. Also the statement of being God's eyes and God's hands struck me as well. My time here has given me the opportunity to be God's eyes and hands here on earth by serving, living amongst, and growing to love the people of Juticalpa. It also reminds me of my initial orientation with Juticalpa and Olancho Aid through my first visit here in April of 2008. The theme of our visit was "Hands to Honduras". This song again reminds me that we are just one person, with one pair of hands. But our hands can build things and assist in projects that are beautiful and make a huge difference in someone's life. Another line that stuck out to me was “For light does the darkness most fear”. This seems like such a powerful statement to me. It shows a sense of faith and the confidence in God's existance and how much a small gesture of love and compassion can mean so much and go so far. The smallest light can still be seen in the dark. In other words, a small act of kindness is still appreciated during the worst of times. (All I can keep thinking about is Juan Carlos' parent's home being washed away during the flooding) In any case, enough song analysis for me! (I just realized maybe I don't have writer's block anymore...this little journalist just needed to sit down and collect her thoughts!)
If you haven't heard this song before; you should download it!!!!! Love and miss you all!!!!! Four weeks from now at this time I will be with you!!!!
Jewel: "Hands"
"If I could tell the world just one thing It would be that we're all ok And not to worry because worry is wasteful and useless in times like these I will not be made useless I won't be idled with despair I will gather myself around my faith for light does the darkness most fear My hands are small, I know, but they're not yours they are my own but they're not yours they are my own and I am never broken Poverty stole your golden shoes but it didn't steal your laughter And heartache came to visit me but i knew it wasn't ever after We will fight, not out of spite for someone must stand up for what's right cause where there's a man who has no voice there ours shall go singing In the end only kindness matters In the end only kindness matters I will get down on my knees and I will pray I will get down on my knees and I will pray I will get down on my knees and I will pray My hands are small, I know, but they're not yours they are my own but they're not yours they are my own and I am never broken My hands are small, i know, but they're not yours they are my own but they're not yours they are my own and I am never broken We are never broken We are God's eyes God's hands God's mind We are God's eyes God's hands God's heart We are God's eyes God's hands God's eyes God's hands We are God's hands God's hands We are God's hands "
Just an update to let you know I am alive and well. I have to admit that since I made the decision to leave here; I have had a bit of "Writer's Block". Maybe it is partially because writing makes me think too much and get too emotional. Maybe it is just that I am trying to soak up all the love around me and take advantage of every minute I have left here. I don't know precisely what it is...but I'm having a hard time collecting my thoughts. Therefore; I hope to have more to say very soon.
As I write this I have to report I only have 6 more days with my little munchkins. Next Wednesday is the last day of school. I don't know how to emotionally prepare for it. Today though; I became misty-eyed for the first time. I asked my student's what was so special about June (expecting to hear them say "NO SCHOOL FOR 3 MONTHS!"). One little girl (Sammi) reponded with "no me gusta Junio" (I don't like June"). I asked her why and she said, "Ms. Ernest va para los Estados". They then all began saying "No te vas, Ms! No te vas!" (Don't go, Miss, don't go!") It was the first of many misty-eyed moments I know I will experience over the course of the next month. How I am going to find the courage to do this; I do not know. The day to my departure inches closer and closer. It's June. I officially leave here in 27 days. I feel like I can't even worry about my future and what I will do with everything I have learned here until I say my goodbyes. This Gringa's heart is starting to break! I'm not going to lie!!!! Please pray for me to have faith, direction, and strength as I rip myself from this place that has become a second home to me and attempt to make the decisions needed to help these people (and other's like them) in every way that I can.
In the Esso today; I heard an old song (old for me means '98 haha) by Jewel. I was struck by the message of this song in a way that I never have been before...because it reminded me a lot of the people and experiences I've had while in Honduras. The line that stuck out most to me was: "Poverty stole your golden shoes but it didn't steal your laughter." This reminded me so much of so many friends I have made along the way here. So many lack monetary riches; but the love, sense of humor, and kindness of their hearts is still there; and in many cases; in tenfold. Also the statement of being God's eyes and God's hands struck me as well. My time here has given me the opportunity to be God's eyes and hands here on earth by serving, living amongst, and growing to love the people of Juticalpa. It also reminds me of my initial orientation with Juticalpa and Olancho Aid through my first visit here in April of 2008. The theme of our visit was "Hands to Honduras". This song again reminds me that we are just one person, with one pair of hands. But our hands can build things and assist in projects that are beautiful and make a huge difference in someone's life. Another line that stuck out to me was “For light does the darkness most fear”. This seems like such a powerful statement to me. It shows a sense of faith and the confidence in God's existance and how much a small gesture of love and compassion can mean so much and go so far. The smallest light can still be seen in the dark. In other words, a small act of kindness is still appreciated during the worst of times. (All I can keep thinking about is Juan Carlos' parent's home being washed away during the flooding) In any case, enough song analysis for me! (I just realized maybe I don't have writer's block anymore...this little journalist just needed to sit down and collect her thoughts!)
If you haven't heard this song before; you should download it!!!!! Love and miss you all!!!!! Four weeks from now at this time I will be with you!!!!
Jewel: "Hands"
"If I could tell the world just one thing It would be that we're all ok And not to worry because worry is wasteful and useless in times like these I will not be made useless I won't be idled with despair I will gather myself around my faith for light does the darkness most fear My hands are small, I know, but they're not yours they are my own but they're not yours they are my own and I am never broken Poverty stole your golden shoes but it didn't steal your laughter And heartache came to visit me but i knew it wasn't ever after We will fight, not out of spite for someone must stand up for what's right cause where there's a man who has no voice there ours shall go singing In the end only kindness matters In the end only kindness matters I will get down on my knees and I will pray I will get down on my knees and I will pray I will get down on my knees and I will pray My hands are small, I know, but they're not yours they are my own but they're not yours they are my own and I am never broken My hands are small, i know, but they're not yours they are my own but they're not yours they are my own and I am never broken We are never broken We are God's eyes God's hands God's mind We are God's eyes God's hands God's heart We are God's eyes God's hands God's eyes God's hands We are God's hands God's hands We are God's hands "
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Wondering who all my followers are....
Well, I have to unfortunately announce that I had another bout of Montezuma's Revenge this past weekend. I spent much of the day on Saturday and Sunday curled up in bed with some of the worst stomach pains I have ever experienced in my 28 years of life. Add the fact that we didn't have electricity or running water for most of the weekend, and I found myself feeling like I was in hell. I actually at one point thought I was going to die if I didn't go to the hospital. Luckily, the pains subsided. I took an extra day off yesterday to rest (unfortunately, because I only have 3 weeks of school left..but teaching while sick is NOT fun in the heat; let me tell you!) In any case, I pick myself up and move forward, ready to experience all that I can in my last month here in Honduras!
In light of my recent bout of sickness, I started thinking about health care here and the reality of just how difficult things are for people here when they DO get sick. I look at the world I am living in and the fact that access to healthcare is pretty low in these rural areas. Those who DO have access to it aren't receiving the best care. One needs to go into Tegucigalpa to see any type of specialist. Being sick without running water and power is not fun. I speak from experience. Again; another opportunity for me to sit back and realize just how lucky I am. If I had a bout of the flu in the States; I'd be tucked under the blankets in my nice warm house taking nice hot showers if it were Winter. If it were Summer, I'd have central air. No wonder it takes people here so much longer to fend off illnesses when they have them! I have no idea how I caught whatever I caught (be it the food, or something else) but bathrooms here never have soap. It's no wonder germs spread like they do. In any case, I'm feeling luckier than ever that I have the access to the healthcare that I do. In light of all that happened this weekend; I'm realizing another possible career path for me might be Public Health. It could still be in an educationally based field. Perhaps educating people in poorer areas (both in and out of the country) on proper nutrition, proper hygiene, etc, etc. There are so many different paths that I could take! The possibilities are endless!
In any case; I've been getting kind of curious as to who has been reading my blog. I've been getting all of these invites from people saying they are "followers " of my blog...half of them I don't even know when I look at their profiles! I am so glad that my stories are touching so many people's lives. I'm glad I'm able to share this beautiful gift I have been granted with so many. I know that this blogger thing is difficult to figure out at times; so if you are someone who has been following my blog but has not been commenting, could you PLEASE email me at my regular email address at chesneyfan1@gmail.com? I just want to know who has been following my adventures so I can communicate with you a bit more on a more personal level. It would be great to know if there are people out there whom I've never even met before who have been following along. I promise if you email me, I will email you back!
Well folks; time to go attempt to make baleadas for a dinner we are having tonight. This should be fairly interesting! I've finally gotten some Honduran recipes down pat! Let's hope I can remember some of them and find all the right ingredients to grace all of you with Honduran cuisine upon my return. :-)
P.S Linda, I just got your email. Don't worry. I won't miss the Open House on the 18th of July. I KNOW you held off on having it JUST for me! :-)
In light of my recent bout of sickness, I started thinking about health care here and the reality of just how difficult things are for people here when they DO get sick. I look at the world I am living in and the fact that access to healthcare is pretty low in these rural areas. Those who DO have access to it aren't receiving the best care. One needs to go into Tegucigalpa to see any type of specialist. Being sick without running water and power is not fun. I speak from experience. Again; another opportunity for me to sit back and realize just how lucky I am. If I had a bout of the flu in the States; I'd be tucked under the blankets in my nice warm house taking nice hot showers if it were Winter. If it were Summer, I'd have central air. No wonder it takes people here so much longer to fend off illnesses when they have them! I have no idea how I caught whatever I caught (be it the food, or something else) but bathrooms here never have soap. It's no wonder germs spread like they do. In any case, I'm feeling luckier than ever that I have the access to the healthcare that I do. In light of all that happened this weekend; I'm realizing another possible career path for me might be Public Health. It could still be in an educationally based field. Perhaps educating people in poorer areas (both in and out of the country) on proper nutrition, proper hygiene, etc, etc. There are so many different paths that I could take! The possibilities are endless!
In any case; I've been getting kind of curious as to who has been reading my blog. I've been getting all of these invites from people saying they are "followers " of my blog...half of them I don't even know when I look at their profiles! I am so glad that my stories are touching so many people's lives. I'm glad I'm able to share this beautiful gift I have been granted with so many. I know that this blogger thing is difficult to figure out at times; so if you are someone who has been following my blog but has not been commenting, could you PLEASE email me at my regular email address at chesneyfan1@gmail.com? I just want to know who has been following my adventures so I can communicate with you a bit more on a more personal level. It would be great to know if there are people out there whom I've never even met before who have been following along. I promise if you email me, I will email you back!
Well folks; time to go attempt to make baleadas for a dinner we are having tonight. This should be fairly interesting! I've finally gotten some Honduran recipes down pat! Let's hope I can remember some of them and find all the right ingredients to grace all of you with Honduran cuisine upon my return. :-)
P.S Linda, I just got your email. Don't worry. I won't miss the Open House on the 18th of July. I KNOW you held off on having it JUST for me! :-)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Roots
I sit here tonight feeling rather nostalgic. I just enjoyed a lovely anafre (bean dip) and a Salva Vida (the local brew) with Keri at La Fonda (a Juticalpa favorite, despite the fact that they are skimpy on the napkins and the service is a bit slow). I sit here listening to the local Evangelical church singing "Open The Eyes of My Heart" repeatedly in Spanish. The smell of baleadas is permeating throughout my humble home here in La Colonia thanks to my neighbor's next door; who cook delicious Honduran cuisine nightly. I hear my neighbors outside playing basketball with their children, and the neighborhood dog; Licha; is barking and playing right outside my front window. I realize; that this has become my life. My home. Soon; i'll be leaving. I cannot believe that 7 weeks from now I'll be sitting in my parent's in Rockland. It will be Summer. I will hear children outside riding bicycles; laughing. I am a person who is big on soaking up the scenery, sights and smells around me and painting a permanent picture in my mind of the time and the place that I am in. Maybe that is because I was born to be a writer. I don't know why. But right now; I am simply soaking up the love, beauty, sights, and sounds around me. I know that right now; I am experiencing a gift and a type of peace that I will undoubtedly never experience again.
I've been giving a great deal of thinking as to what leaving will be like. When I think about it; I feel like someone has thrown a wrench around my heart; squeezing the life out of it. My fondness and adoration for my friends and family here is indescribible. DonaMarina, Wendy, my students; even the coffeemakers at the Esso have become like members of extended family. When I set out on my journey here 10 months ago; it seemed like a daunting task. Now as as my final 6 weeks here await me; I cannot believe that it is almost over. I feel as though all of the things I am about to experience in the next month are surreal. I feel as though the next 6 weeks will be 6 of the hardest of my life.
It is going to be painful. I think about leaving the people who have come to mean so much to me. I wonder to myself "how will I ever board that plane on June 28th". I think the solution is heartbreaking; but simple. I must simply get up and go. When I came here in August; I was simply a seed that was planted; who slowly bloomed throughout my experiences. Now; it is time that I rip myself from the ground. I must take all of my experience that were rooted here and share them with everyone in the world that will listen. The people of Juticalpa have watered and fed my soul. I have so much to offer to this world as I move forward in life. I owe a huge part of who I am and what is important to me to these people. They are my heart. They have my heart. I know that as painful as it is for me to leave these beautiful people. this relaxed life; this amazing experience; that there is so much more that I can do for these people from the American homefront. This fact breaks my heart; because communication from the States to Honduras is going to be difficult. Half of my new friends do not know how to read or write. There is no formal mail system. How can I possibly correspond through email when half of them don't even have electricity? These questions tug at my heart on a daily basis. Still; I must go. I know that it is time. I just hope that people will be willing to listen...and I hope that my heart will be able to heal from having to leave the most amazing people and experience in my entire life. I hope that I will be able to find the same type of fulfillment as I move forward.....honestly; I worry. To say I sleep soundly at night right now would be a lie. I pray for the strength to move forward, and to follow whatever plan God has set out for me. I truly in my heart believe He put me here in Juticalpa for a reason. I just wish that leaving didn't have to be so painful.....and I wonder if I will be able to "go light my world" from this point. Where do I even start?
I've been giving a great deal of thinking as to what leaving will be like. When I think about it; I feel like someone has thrown a wrench around my heart; squeezing the life out of it. My fondness and adoration for my friends and family here is indescribible. DonaMarina, Wendy, my students; even the coffeemakers at the Esso have become like members of extended family. When I set out on my journey here 10 months ago; it seemed like a daunting task. Now as as my final 6 weeks here await me; I cannot believe that it is almost over. I feel as though all of the things I am about to experience in the next month are surreal. I feel as though the next 6 weeks will be 6 of the hardest of my life.
It is going to be painful. I think about leaving the people who have come to mean so much to me. I wonder to myself "how will I ever board that plane on June 28th". I think the solution is heartbreaking; but simple. I must simply get up and go. When I came here in August; I was simply a seed that was planted; who slowly bloomed throughout my experiences. Now; it is time that I rip myself from the ground. I must take all of my experience that were rooted here and share them with everyone in the world that will listen. The people of Juticalpa have watered and fed my soul. I have so much to offer to this world as I move forward in life. I owe a huge part of who I am and what is important to me to these people. They are my heart. They have my heart. I know that as painful as it is for me to leave these beautiful people. this relaxed life; this amazing experience; that there is so much more that I can do for these people from the American homefront. This fact breaks my heart; because communication from the States to Honduras is going to be difficult. Half of my new friends do not know how to read or write. There is no formal mail system. How can I possibly correspond through email when half of them don't even have electricity? These questions tug at my heart on a daily basis. Still; I must go. I know that it is time. I just hope that people will be willing to listen...and I hope that my heart will be able to heal from having to leave the most amazing people and experience in my entire life. I hope that I will be able to find the same type of fulfillment as I move forward.....honestly; I worry. To say I sleep soundly at night right now would be a lie. I pray for the strength to move forward, and to follow whatever plan God has set out for me. I truly in my heart believe He put me here in Juticalpa for a reason. I just wish that leaving didn't have to be so painful.....and I wonder if I will be able to "go light my world" from this point. Where do I even start?
Sunday, May 10, 2009
The Most Difficult Decision Of My Life....
The entry I am about to post right now will be by far the most difficult one I have ever posted during my time here. As I am writing this; tears are streaming down my face. I think I am feeling my heart crumbling into a million tiny pieces. That is because I have realized that I am truly in love for the first time in my life. I am in love with the people of Juticalpa. I am especially in love with my first graders, who have challenged me in ways that I've never been challenged in my life. I am in love with my friends here; who I have allowed to accept me, and welcome me into their families and their homes. Along with love I believe; always comes some level of heartbreak. That is what I am experiencing right now; I believe.
*deep breath*
I have made the decision that seven weeks from today, I will be leaving Juticalpa, Santa Clara, and this great adventure behind. It would be so easy to stay. There are many days where the idea of never leaving passes through my head. But then I realize, that this was a once in a lifetime experience; one I will never have again in my life. It has to end. After talking to my friends both here and at home and spending hours upon hours reflecting upon my future, career goals, and money situations; I realize that it is time to go. I know I will be back to visit as frequently as I can; but other things tear at my heartstrings right now. I miss my family and my friends. I have been a selfish person in the past at times; not always considering them and only thinking of myself when I made decisions. Now; I realize that other people are affected by the things that I do. When I leave here; I will miss the people who have become my family and friends here. I knew that no matter what I decided to do it was going to be difficult. I know that my last days in Juticalpa are going to be by far the most difficult days of my life. I also know that I can't stay forever. Eventually; that day is going to have to come.
I have spent long hours and days toying with the idea of staying and the idea of going. Oh, how easy it would be if I didn't have to make this decision! But at 28 years old; I finally feel like I know what I want to do with my career/life, and it is time for me to focus on those goals. I have decided that I want to work in fundraising and grant writing for a non-profit organization. Preferably one like Olancho Aid that betters the lives of the impoverished. I want to spread the word about this organization to everyone who will listen. I can only do so much from here. I am going to make it my mission to spread the word about Juticalpa to every person who wants to hear about my great adventure. I have also decided that I am going to try to get some of my writings from this blog (and my personal journals) published in some type of magazine, newsletter, or book form. Just because I am leaving; doesn't mean my work for Olancho Aid is going to end. I don't think that it ever will. My career will continue forward when I return home. I finally have the direction that I needed. This experience has given me that direction.
In seven weeks, I will board a plane back to Boston with an entire year's worth the belongings in tow in only two suitcases. I will say days of long, teary goodbyes. I will board the plane in Tegucialpa and return back to Boston to the life that I lived for 27 years before I came out here. Only I don't think I ever really will return to the life that I led before I came out here. I depart this experience as a changed woman. The girl who boarded that plane in August, clueless about the harsh realities of the world will return to the States with a heart on fire with passion for the people whom I will hold close to my heart for the rest of my life. I will make it my mission to do everything that I can for the impoverished and less fortunate in our world.
Sometimes I joke that I have aged about 10 years in my time here mostly in part to tons of dust in my lungs and warm sun upon my skin. All kidding aside though; I feel like I have matured a great deal in this past year. I have seen and learned things here that many people twice my age could never understand. I have watched children play outside naked, because their families cannot afford to put clothes on their bodies. I have seen seven year olds selling bags of water in the park to pay for their families to eat a small serving of rice for dinner. I have seen people literally dying on city buses; with little more than faith in God and the prayer for a miracle that someone will help them to try to save their lives. I have seen people's homes washed away in the floods here; leaving them with literally nothing left in their possession. I have seen families ripped apart; children who have never known their Mommy's or Daddy's because they are in the States trying to earn a living so their children can go to school. I emerge from this experience with a new understanding of how most of our world lives. I emerge with a greater appreciation for all that I have. Most importantly; I emerge with an appreciation for the people I have met here. I am so grateful to have had the experience of sharing a life here with people who have shown me more love than I have ever known in my life. I think at one point in my early days here; I talked a lot about coming here to help these people, to educate these children, to give them the tools they need to help their country and their society. It is at this point now that I truly realize that they are the ones who have helped me. They have shown me unconditional love, unbelievable faith in God and the general good in humanity, and a career path for my life.
For the next seven weeks, I look forward to taking in all of the beauty and love surrounding me. I will eat as many meals in Wendy's cafeteria that I can. I will go to the cathedral with Wendy and her family for Sunday masses. I will "platicar" over coffee with Donamarina and Donaveronica every morning. Kenia will obtain a new wardrobe of my clothes. I will travel up to the north coast with my students and their family's and take in the serenity and beauty of the ocean. I might even try to smile instead of grumble choice words under my breath when a not so polite man whistles at me and yells "Mamacita! AYI YI YI!" as I walk down the street. I will savor the smells, and sights and sounds of this city that has become; and always will be my second home.
It's lesson time planning for this Mamacita. Ayi yi yi! So much work to be done, and only 3 more weeks of school left!! Wish me luck!!! Looking forward to seeing all of you in June!!!!
*deep breath*
I have made the decision that seven weeks from today, I will be leaving Juticalpa, Santa Clara, and this great adventure behind. It would be so easy to stay. There are many days where the idea of never leaving passes through my head. But then I realize, that this was a once in a lifetime experience; one I will never have again in my life. It has to end. After talking to my friends both here and at home and spending hours upon hours reflecting upon my future, career goals, and money situations; I realize that it is time to go. I know I will be back to visit as frequently as I can; but other things tear at my heartstrings right now. I miss my family and my friends. I have been a selfish person in the past at times; not always considering them and only thinking of myself when I made decisions. Now; I realize that other people are affected by the things that I do. When I leave here; I will miss the people who have become my family and friends here. I knew that no matter what I decided to do it was going to be difficult. I know that my last days in Juticalpa are going to be by far the most difficult days of my life. I also know that I can't stay forever. Eventually; that day is going to have to come.
I have spent long hours and days toying with the idea of staying and the idea of going. Oh, how easy it would be if I didn't have to make this decision! But at 28 years old; I finally feel like I know what I want to do with my career/life, and it is time for me to focus on those goals. I have decided that I want to work in fundraising and grant writing for a non-profit organization. Preferably one like Olancho Aid that betters the lives of the impoverished. I want to spread the word about this organization to everyone who will listen. I can only do so much from here. I am going to make it my mission to spread the word about Juticalpa to every person who wants to hear about my great adventure. I have also decided that I am going to try to get some of my writings from this blog (and my personal journals) published in some type of magazine, newsletter, or book form. Just because I am leaving; doesn't mean my work for Olancho Aid is going to end. I don't think that it ever will. My career will continue forward when I return home. I finally have the direction that I needed. This experience has given me that direction.
In seven weeks, I will board a plane back to Boston with an entire year's worth the belongings in tow in only two suitcases. I will say days of long, teary goodbyes. I will board the plane in Tegucialpa and return back to Boston to the life that I lived for 27 years before I came out here. Only I don't think I ever really will return to the life that I led before I came out here. I depart this experience as a changed woman. The girl who boarded that plane in August, clueless about the harsh realities of the world will return to the States with a heart on fire with passion for the people whom I will hold close to my heart for the rest of my life. I will make it my mission to do everything that I can for the impoverished and less fortunate in our world.
Sometimes I joke that I have aged about 10 years in my time here mostly in part to tons of dust in my lungs and warm sun upon my skin. All kidding aside though; I feel like I have matured a great deal in this past year. I have seen and learned things here that many people twice my age could never understand. I have watched children play outside naked, because their families cannot afford to put clothes on their bodies. I have seen seven year olds selling bags of water in the park to pay for their families to eat a small serving of rice for dinner. I have seen people literally dying on city buses; with little more than faith in God and the prayer for a miracle that someone will help them to try to save their lives. I have seen people's homes washed away in the floods here; leaving them with literally nothing left in their possession. I have seen families ripped apart; children who have never known their Mommy's or Daddy's because they are in the States trying to earn a living so their children can go to school. I emerge from this experience with a new understanding of how most of our world lives. I emerge with a greater appreciation for all that I have. Most importantly; I emerge with an appreciation for the people I have met here. I am so grateful to have had the experience of sharing a life here with people who have shown me more love than I have ever known in my life. I think at one point in my early days here; I talked a lot about coming here to help these people, to educate these children, to give them the tools they need to help their country and their society. It is at this point now that I truly realize that they are the ones who have helped me. They have shown me unconditional love, unbelievable faith in God and the general good in humanity, and a career path for my life.
For the next seven weeks, I look forward to taking in all of the beauty and love surrounding me. I will eat as many meals in Wendy's cafeteria that I can. I will go to the cathedral with Wendy and her family for Sunday masses. I will "platicar" over coffee with Donamarina and Donaveronica every morning. Kenia will obtain a new wardrobe of my clothes. I will travel up to the north coast with my students and their family's and take in the serenity and beauty of the ocean. I might even try to smile instead of grumble choice words under my breath when a not so polite man whistles at me and yells "Mamacita! AYI YI YI!" as I walk down the street. I will savor the smells, and sights and sounds of this city that has become; and always will be my second home.
It's lesson time planning for this Mamacita. Ayi yi yi! So much work to be done, and only 3 more weeks of school left!! Wish me luck!!! Looking forward to seeing all of you in June!!!!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
It's Been So Long....
I just realized that it has been an entire month now since I updated my blog. Honestly; life has been so busy that this is the first time I've had to sit down and actually collect my thoughts on the events of the past month and let you all know how things have been going.
April was by far the craziest month that I've had down here and definitely the fastest. I spend a lovely 10 days back in Boston visiting with friends and family, then the group from Holy Family came down here for 10 days when I returned. It was fantastic to spend time with all of them, and super emotional and important to me for them to see the relationships I've developed with people and the friends that I have made during my time here. I hope that my parents in particular were able to really enjoy this experience. In particular, meeting DonaMarina and Wendy, two of the best friends that I've made here. (To the H.F group..I've distributed all of the things that you left here to the people I know need them most and everyone is eternally grateful. It's nice to be walking down the streets of Juticalpa and to see someone pass by wearing a Rockland soccer shirt!)
In any case, having my friends and family here with me was an interesting experience for me. During my time here; I haven't had much of an opportunity to pass time with one of the church groups because I was always so busy with work and spending time with my friends here, etc, etc. It was funny for me to be reminded of things that are comical here to the typical North American; because so many of these things are just "normal" to me now. Yes; it is comical to get stuck in "traffic" (and have traffic be a herd of cattle walking down the main road). Men holding guns outside the supermercado IS a little intimidating. Rice and beans and tortillas 7 days a week DOES get old. It IS pretty funny when the chicken restaurant in town doesn't have chicken! It was amusing to me to see people's reactions to the things that I just find so mainstream now. I guess I am becoming a tad bit more Honduran even though I am not fully concious of it!
From another standpoint, I feel as though I have developed a different understanding of life here and the culture. Things that didn't bother me last year when I came down with the group deeply bother me now. I have to admit that I cringed a little when a few people were snapping photos of houses made of stick and children clothed in rags. At a couple of points, I felt guilty feeling like we were on a "white people's grand tour of the poverty that is Honduras". I guess during my time here I have developed more of a compassion for these people. Although they are very poor; they are still human beings with the same feelings as the rest of us. I know that no one meant anything to be offensive during our visits here. A year ago I was in the same time and place. I truly think that it is only something that one can understand after passing a long amount of time here. At this time and place, I truly feel as though I am straddling two cultures...the one I left behind nine months ago, and the one I have been living on a day to day basis since August. It is a very odd feeling, and at times I feel pretty misunderstood and it is difficult to process things and try to get people to understand how I am feeling about things. In any case, it was great to spend time with people who mean so much to me and even more rewarding for them to see the love I have developed for these people here. In the end, I took the bus to Tegus with Victor, Carlos, and Juan Carlos to bring them all to the airport and I definitely had a teary goodbye. I've been homesick since, and this is the first time I've felt this way since my arrival in August. Again; I think that is because I am truly adjusted to my life here and it's surprising to me how well I've adjusted.
This weekend was especially eventful , because it was a reminder of just how different our culture is in the States. I went with Wendy to her family's campo off in a remote village about 45 minutes from here to help prepare for; then celebrate her little sister's 15th birthday. Let me tell you, it was quite an event. Have you ever seen "My Super Sweet 16" on MTV? Well, picture that program and you will have an idea of what yesterday's fiesta was like. Her sister wore a long white wedding type dress and had 6 "Honor Maids" clothed in ridiculously fancy hot pink dresses. There was a church procession with a grand march, and a crowing ceremony. The whole thing was very interesting to me to say the least. When I tell you it was similar to and as big of an event as a wedding, I'm not exaggerating! I thoroughly enjoyed myself though; and it was great to meet all of Wendy's family and to celebrate with them. They were all so welcoming and so excited to have me there. I love spending time there as it is normally so peaceful, but this weekend was a different story. There was a lot to do! I had fun making tortillas by candlelight until 12a.m for the 50 or so party guests the next day (they don't have electricity out there). Wendy's whole family were in love with my headlamp; which we used to meticulously decorate the church for the mass the night before in the pitch black. Sleeping in a bed with 3 or 4 other people was also quite the experience for me. Here; 12 people will live in a 2 bedroom house with 3 mattresses. I also witnessed the slaughtering of the family pig for the fiesta. During our arrival on Friday; I was introduced to the cow and asked if I liked her. When I said I did; they said "We hope she tastes good!" 3 hours later, I was helping them cook literally pounds and pounds of meat for the party. Luis Carlos; Wendy's son, took some pictures. I won't post them here because I have to admit, that my stomach still hasn't stopped turning since I witnessed the slaughtering. The thought of becoming a vegeterian has passed through my mind in the past 48 hours to say the least. Poor Bessie! In any case, visiting the Campo was a great time. Wendy's family is amazing and they are so hospitable...BUT it made me realize just how relative things are. Driving back into Juticalpa and seeing civilization last night was a great feeling; even though there are many times where I feel like we live in the middle of nowhere. I have to admit; I don't think I could live on a Campo. What a reminder though of how lucky we are here even in Juticalpa. Electricity is a beautiful thing! As is the Esso station and the Dispensa with (gasp) a variety of different foods! I think that I want to spend some more time on the Campo; because it is a true Honduran experience!
April was by far the craziest month that I've had down here and definitely the fastest. I spend a lovely 10 days back in Boston visiting with friends and family, then the group from Holy Family came down here for 10 days when I returned. It was fantastic to spend time with all of them, and super emotional and important to me for them to see the relationships I've developed with people and the friends that I have made during my time here. I hope that my parents in particular were able to really enjoy this experience. In particular, meeting DonaMarina and Wendy, two of the best friends that I've made here. (To the H.F group..I've distributed all of the things that you left here to the people I know need them most and everyone is eternally grateful. It's nice to be walking down the streets of Juticalpa and to see someone pass by wearing a Rockland soccer shirt!)
In any case, having my friends and family here with me was an interesting experience for me. During my time here; I haven't had much of an opportunity to pass time with one of the church groups because I was always so busy with work and spending time with my friends here, etc, etc. It was funny for me to be reminded of things that are comical here to the typical North American; because so many of these things are just "normal" to me now. Yes; it is comical to get stuck in "traffic" (and have traffic be a herd of cattle walking down the main road). Men holding guns outside the supermercado IS a little intimidating. Rice and beans and tortillas 7 days a week DOES get old. It IS pretty funny when the chicken restaurant in town doesn't have chicken! It was amusing to me to see people's reactions to the things that I just find so mainstream now. I guess I am becoming a tad bit more Honduran even though I am not fully concious of it!
From another standpoint, I feel as though I have developed a different understanding of life here and the culture. Things that didn't bother me last year when I came down with the group deeply bother me now. I have to admit that I cringed a little when a few people were snapping photos of houses made of stick and children clothed in rags. At a couple of points, I felt guilty feeling like we were on a "white people's grand tour of the poverty that is Honduras". I guess during my time here I have developed more of a compassion for these people. Although they are very poor; they are still human beings with the same feelings as the rest of us. I know that no one meant anything to be offensive during our visits here. A year ago I was in the same time and place. I truly think that it is only something that one can understand after passing a long amount of time here. At this time and place, I truly feel as though I am straddling two cultures...the one I left behind nine months ago, and the one I have been living on a day to day basis since August. It is a very odd feeling, and at times I feel pretty misunderstood and it is difficult to process things and try to get people to understand how I am feeling about things. In any case, it was great to spend time with people who mean so much to me and even more rewarding for them to see the love I have developed for these people here. In the end, I took the bus to Tegus with Victor, Carlos, and Juan Carlos to bring them all to the airport and I definitely had a teary goodbye. I've been homesick since, and this is the first time I've felt this way since my arrival in August. Again; I think that is because I am truly adjusted to my life here and it's surprising to me how well I've adjusted.
This weekend was especially eventful , because it was a reminder of just how different our culture is in the States. I went with Wendy to her family's campo off in a remote village about 45 minutes from here to help prepare for; then celebrate her little sister's 15th birthday. Let me tell you, it was quite an event. Have you ever seen "My Super Sweet 16" on MTV? Well, picture that program and you will have an idea of what yesterday's fiesta was like. Her sister wore a long white wedding type dress and had 6 "Honor Maids" clothed in ridiculously fancy hot pink dresses. There was a church procession with a grand march, and a crowing ceremony. The whole thing was very interesting to me to say the least. When I tell you it was similar to and as big of an event as a wedding, I'm not exaggerating! I thoroughly enjoyed myself though; and it was great to meet all of Wendy's family and to celebrate with them. They were all so welcoming and so excited to have me there. I love spending time there as it is normally so peaceful, but this weekend was a different story. There was a lot to do! I had fun making tortillas by candlelight until 12a.m for the 50 or so party guests the next day (they don't have electricity out there). Wendy's whole family were in love with my headlamp; which we used to meticulously decorate the church for the mass the night before in the pitch black. Sleeping in a bed with 3 or 4 other people was also quite the experience for me. Here; 12 people will live in a 2 bedroom house with 3 mattresses. I also witnessed the slaughtering of the family pig for the fiesta. During our arrival on Friday; I was introduced to the cow and asked if I liked her. When I said I did; they said "We hope she tastes good!" 3 hours later, I was helping them cook literally pounds and pounds of meat for the party. Luis Carlos; Wendy's son, took some pictures. I won't post them here because I have to admit, that my stomach still hasn't stopped turning since I witnessed the slaughtering. The thought of becoming a vegeterian has passed through my mind in the past 48 hours to say the least. Poor Bessie! In any case, visiting the Campo was a great time. Wendy's family is amazing and they are so hospitable...BUT it made me realize just how relative things are. Driving back into Juticalpa and seeing civilization last night was a great feeling; even though there are many times where I feel like we live in the middle of nowhere. I have to admit; I don't think I could live on a Campo. What a reminder though of how lucky we are here even in Juticalpa. Electricity is a beautiful thing! As is the Esso station and the Dispensa with (gasp) a variety of different foods! I think that I want to spend some more time on the Campo; because it is a true Honduran experience!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Acts of Kindness
So often in my blogging on here, I have voiced frustration with my students and their behavior, effort in the classroom, or the administration here not taking enough control over situations happening within the school. A lot of my frustration comes with the act of trying to adjust to a totally different culture; one that is MUCH slower paced than what I am used to. One where important decisions and work are not completed until hours before they need to be. One where people more or less just "roll with the punches" and whatever is meant to be will be.
Sometimes I feel as though I am so filled with frustration here that I forget to really stop and blog about the great things that I see happening in my classroom. The fact of the matter is this: my students are high maintenance. Everyday is a struggle to keep them in line. Here; playing soccer in the classroom when the teacher turns her back for 2 seconds is normal. As is having a wrestling match in the hallways during recess. Such is life in a Honduran school!
Although the discipline problems here would make even the most experienced teacher in North America cringe, there is a sense of compassion and caring for one another that the students have here that I have never seen in any classroom in the States. Nor do I remember this type of compassion in my own classrooms growing up. Here; all the kids seem to play in one big group, and they hardly ever seem to exclude anybody. Even the fifth and sixth graders all play together. There are no "cliques" or "popular groups" here. Everyone kind of looks out for one another. Okay, there are kids who will be kids, but when someone turns their back on another, someone else will stick up for her.
Remember Sandra that I blogged about a month or so ago? Today I witnessed the ultimate act of compassion and love happen between her and another student on the playground. I have another little girl in my class named Clara Maria. Clara Maria lives in the orphanage, and is fortunate enough to be a scholarship recipient here at Santa Clara. In any case, she also has a cleft palate, making evaluating her in a second language class VERY difficult. In any case, another little girl was teasing her on the playground saying that she had no parents and no family and friends and that no one cared about her. I saw the other kids looking horrified, rather than joining in. Then, Sandra stood up and put her arm around Clara and gave the teaser a piece of her mind. She said that Clara was her sister and she lived in her house with her and her mother. This was news to me! I called Sandra over and asked her if it was true, and she immediately got upset and apologized, thinking that I was upset with her for lying. She looked at me and said that it wasn't true, but that she didn't like to see "Clara's heart get hurt" (in English). I think this lesson from the playground today was universal. We can all learn a thing or two about life and the way we should treat other's through the actions of small children. Sandra's act of compassion and love actually brought tears to my eyes. (Although I think the fact that Susan and Bree left this morning did not help...what an EMOTIONAL day! I seem to have a lot of those here!)
72 hours from now I will be en route to Boston. Can't wait to see you all. More importantly though; can't wait to bring some of you back to my new home. I will always consider Juticalpa "mi segundo hogar". They say home is where the heart is. How will I ever divide my heart between two homes? The thought of leaving is breaking this heart of mine, that is for sure!
Sometimes I feel as though I am so filled with frustration here that I forget to really stop and blog about the great things that I see happening in my classroom. The fact of the matter is this: my students are high maintenance. Everyday is a struggle to keep them in line. Here; playing soccer in the classroom when the teacher turns her back for 2 seconds is normal. As is having a wrestling match in the hallways during recess. Such is life in a Honduran school!
Although the discipline problems here would make even the most experienced teacher in North America cringe, there is a sense of compassion and caring for one another that the students have here that I have never seen in any classroom in the States. Nor do I remember this type of compassion in my own classrooms growing up. Here; all the kids seem to play in one big group, and they hardly ever seem to exclude anybody. Even the fifth and sixth graders all play together. There are no "cliques" or "popular groups" here. Everyone kind of looks out for one another. Okay, there are kids who will be kids, but when someone turns their back on another, someone else will stick up for her.
Remember Sandra that I blogged about a month or so ago? Today I witnessed the ultimate act of compassion and love happen between her and another student on the playground. I have another little girl in my class named Clara Maria. Clara Maria lives in the orphanage, and is fortunate enough to be a scholarship recipient here at Santa Clara. In any case, she also has a cleft palate, making evaluating her in a second language class VERY difficult. In any case, another little girl was teasing her on the playground saying that she had no parents and no family and friends and that no one cared about her. I saw the other kids looking horrified, rather than joining in. Then, Sandra stood up and put her arm around Clara and gave the teaser a piece of her mind. She said that Clara was her sister and she lived in her house with her and her mother. This was news to me! I called Sandra over and asked her if it was true, and she immediately got upset and apologized, thinking that I was upset with her for lying. She looked at me and said that it wasn't true, but that she didn't like to see "Clara's heart get hurt" (in English). I think this lesson from the playground today was universal. We can all learn a thing or two about life and the way we should treat other's through the actions of small children. Sandra's act of compassion and love actually brought tears to my eyes. (Although I think the fact that Susan and Bree left this morning did not help...what an EMOTIONAL day! I seem to have a lot of those here!)
72 hours from now I will be en route to Boston. Can't wait to see you all. More importantly though; can't wait to bring some of you back to my new home. I will always consider Juticalpa "mi segundo hogar". They say home is where the heart is. How will I ever divide my heart between two homes? The thought of leaving is breaking this heart of mine, that is for sure!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Quick Update
Unfortunately, this posting isn't going to be nearly as intense or interesting as my previous few; but I know people read my blog religiously so I just wanted to check in and let you know that all has been going well here in Juti.
It's been a crazy couple of weeks. I am going to be taking almost an entire extra week of for Semana Santa vacation, so I am in the process of trying to finish report cards and write out lesson plans for a substitute. In addition, I've decided to take on some extra work with the Olancho Aid board so I am working on going through some of that information as well.
Thing here have been "normal". It seems as though I have just sort of settled into my life here and it is just as busy (and stressful!) as it can be in the States. I have been working long hours and throwing myself into the things that i love to do. I have never felt happier or more comfortable during my time here. I continue to cherish every moment that I have here.
This weekend should be an interesting; yet someone emotional one. It is Susan and Bree's last weekend before they depart for the States. It's kind of bittersweet because Bree and I have shared in this journey together for 8 months and she will leave on Thursday to go back to her life in the States and I will continue doing what I've been doing here. I know that she reads this, so i want to wish her the best of luck with everything that she has coming up ahead of her over the next couple of months (including a BIG MOVE! SAN DIEGO BABY!) In any case, we are heading to Ixa's (principal of Cardinal's) country house tomorrow to go swimming and eat ridiculous amounts of Honduran cuisine. I think on Sunday; Susan and I will head into Catacamas to visit the caves once again (she hasn't seen them yet). The work week next week will be a series of emotional goodbyes for my Companeras de Casa...Monday night we have dinner with some of Bree's university students. Tuesday; we are heading over to Wendita's for some typical Honduran cuisine. I'm so glad I don't have to say these goodbyes yet. I can't even THINK about leaving Wendy right now! I WILL be leaving soon though. For a brief visit to the States. Next Saturday I willl board the plane once again and head to Boston for a MUCH needed vacation. I can't wait to see my friends and family. I especially can't wait to go to Fenway to see my Sox play. "You can take the girl out of Boston, but you can't take the Boston out of the girl!"
Love and miss you all! Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers right now as I make decisions about next year.
It's been a crazy couple of weeks. I am going to be taking almost an entire extra week of for Semana Santa vacation, so I am in the process of trying to finish report cards and write out lesson plans for a substitute. In addition, I've decided to take on some extra work with the Olancho Aid board so I am working on going through some of that information as well.
Thing here have been "normal". It seems as though I have just sort of settled into my life here and it is just as busy (and stressful!) as it can be in the States. I have been working long hours and throwing myself into the things that i love to do. I have never felt happier or more comfortable during my time here. I continue to cherish every moment that I have here.
This weekend should be an interesting; yet someone emotional one. It is Susan and Bree's last weekend before they depart for the States. It's kind of bittersweet because Bree and I have shared in this journey together for 8 months and she will leave on Thursday to go back to her life in the States and I will continue doing what I've been doing here. I know that she reads this, so i want to wish her the best of luck with everything that she has coming up ahead of her over the next couple of months (including a BIG MOVE! SAN DIEGO BABY!) In any case, we are heading to Ixa's (principal of Cardinal's) country house tomorrow to go swimming and eat ridiculous amounts of Honduran cuisine. I think on Sunday; Susan and I will head into Catacamas to visit the caves once again (she hasn't seen them yet). The work week next week will be a series of emotional goodbyes for my Companeras de Casa...Monday night we have dinner with some of Bree's university students. Tuesday; we are heading over to Wendita's for some typical Honduran cuisine. I'm so glad I don't have to say these goodbyes yet. I can't even THINK about leaving Wendy right now! I WILL be leaving soon though. For a brief visit to the States. Next Saturday I willl board the plane once again and head to Boston for a MUCH needed vacation. I can't wait to see my friends and family. I especially can't wait to go to Fenway to see my Sox play. "You can take the girl out of Boston, but you can't take the Boston out of the girl!"
Love and miss you all! Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers right now as I make decisions about next year.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Go Light Your World
The past couple of days have been difficult for me due to some things that have been happening here...but I know I am overdue for an update; so I wanted to share with you a story from today.
I went for a 90 minute run after work today to clear my head after a very stressful week. I decided that it was safe enough to run through one of the neighborhoods on a dirt road close to my home; as I know two of the women who clean the school at Santa Clara live on that road. I've been told here if you know someone who lives on the road you are traveling , that it is safe. Someone is looking out for you.
In any case, I was jogging along when I came across Majorie. I've only met Majorie three times. She has come across me standing near the Esso station waiting for the bus to school in the morning. A kind-hearted old woman, she stops to "talk" to me each time she sees me as she heads off to work to sell bolsas de agua (bottles of water) near the center of town. I'd be lying if I said I understood a single word she says to me. I simply smile and say "si" and act enthusiastic. She speaks at lightening speed and has no teeth, but has an amazing beauty about her nonetheless. She saw me running in the street and started jumping up and down to flag me down and grabbed my arm, speaking a mile a minute. The only thing I caught was her mentioning something about a gringa that seems to like the sun a lot. She let me to a home made of stick and pieces of cardboard and introduced me to every single member of her family as her "hermana" which means "sister" in Spanish. I must have met 25 extended family members, who all kissed me on the cheek and hugged me tightly as if I were in fact a member of their family. Yet another humbling experience! To be out for an afternoon run and to have someone bring me "home" as if I were a member of their family. That seems to be a common theme here. People treat you as though you are their family. It's amazing the love that strangers here have for one another. I oftentimes wonder if the people here see me passing on the road and think that I am better than them, and that I am here to try to "save" them. Then; when I actually engage in conversation with them, I realize that they do not have that impression at all. I feel so grateful to be having this experience with these beautiful people. I am college educated and have so much opportunity for me at home, yet these people who have nothing, who have a third grade education; are offering me much more than I could offer them. The love I am enveloped in on a daily basis is amazing. I can't tell you how many times I come home at night and just lay in my bed and cry, amazed by the beauty of the people around me here. I don't think I am going to ever be able to leave.
After leaving Majorie's house; I decied to head to Pay y Bien; which is the local bakery on the same road the orphanage is on. I have TONS of pastries in my freezer (cheesecake, ice cream AND dark chocolate) thanks to Bree and Susan's birthday presents for me but I decided to go regardless. I picked up a dozen donuts and headed towards a poor barrio. There are many children here who I usually encounter =who approach me begging for a lempira. Today I approached them telling them I had a present for them and handed them the donuts. The smiles that appeared on their faces will stay in my mind forever. I can't even begin to tell you the joy that it brought me to just see these children be normal children for once...and savor a sweet treat. The real treat was for ME! On days where I feel like I am surrounded by so much sadness, I need to do things like this. I then ended up engaging in an hour long game of soccer to which I lost miserably to, but it was worth it to see the children's faces light up when I announced that I had a gift for them. Everyday, I long for them to have a normal life. where they are well fed and cared for, and go to bed with a full stomach. My time with them is beautiful, yet heartbreaking. What is equally amazing to me is the fact that I am now comfortable enough here that I can go off on my own and enjoy all of these experience solo. I love going off on my own here and interacting with these people! What was supposed to be a normal day out running to clear my head turned into a memorable day....then again, I can't think of many days that AREN'T memorable here. I am continually trying to soak up every ounce of beauty and love around me, in fear that I will have no choice but to leave in 3 months. I can't imagine leaving this beautiful country, these people people, and all the love that is surrounding me anytime soon!
I went for a 90 minute run after work today to clear my head after a very stressful week. I decided that it was safe enough to run through one of the neighborhoods on a dirt road close to my home; as I know two of the women who clean the school at Santa Clara live on that road. I've been told here if you know someone who lives on the road you are traveling , that it is safe. Someone is looking out for you.
In any case, I was jogging along when I came across Majorie. I've only met Majorie three times. She has come across me standing near the Esso station waiting for the bus to school in the morning. A kind-hearted old woman, she stops to "talk" to me each time she sees me as she heads off to work to sell bolsas de agua (bottles of water) near the center of town. I'd be lying if I said I understood a single word she says to me. I simply smile and say "si" and act enthusiastic. She speaks at lightening speed and has no teeth, but has an amazing beauty about her nonetheless. She saw me running in the street and started jumping up and down to flag me down and grabbed my arm, speaking a mile a minute. The only thing I caught was her mentioning something about a gringa that seems to like the sun a lot. She let me to a home made of stick and pieces of cardboard and introduced me to every single member of her family as her "hermana" which means "sister" in Spanish. I must have met 25 extended family members, who all kissed me on the cheek and hugged me tightly as if I were in fact a member of their family. Yet another humbling experience! To be out for an afternoon run and to have someone bring me "home" as if I were a member of their family. That seems to be a common theme here. People treat you as though you are their family. It's amazing the love that strangers here have for one another. I oftentimes wonder if the people here see me passing on the road and think that I am better than them, and that I am here to try to "save" them. Then; when I actually engage in conversation with them, I realize that they do not have that impression at all. I feel so grateful to be having this experience with these beautiful people. I am college educated and have so much opportunity for me at home, yet these people who have nothing, who have a third grade education; are offering me much more than I could offer them. The love I am enveloped in on a daily basis is amazing. I can't tell you how many times I come home at night and just lay in my bed and cry, amazed by the beauty of the people around me here. I don't think I am going to ever be able to leave.
After leaving Majorie's house; I decied to head to Pay y Bien; which is the local bakery on the same road the orphanage is on. I have TONS of pastries in my freezer (cheesecake, ice cream AND dark chocolate) thanks to Bree and Susan's birthday presents for me but I decided to go regardless. I picked up a dozen donuts and headed towards a poor barrio. There are many children here who I usually encounter =who approach me begging for a lempira. Today I approached them telling them I had a present for them and handed them the donuts. The smiles that appeared on their faces will stay in my mind forever. I can't even begin to tell you the joy that it brought me to just see these children be normal children for once...and savor a sweet treat. The real treat was for ME! On days where I feel like I am surrounded by so much sadness, I need to do things like this. I then ended up engaging in an hour long game of soccer to which I lost miserably to, but it was worth it to see the children's faces light up when I announced that I had a gift for them. Everyday, I long for them to have a normal life. where they are well fed and cared for, and go to bed with a full stomach. My time with them is beautiful, yet heartbreaking. What is equally amazing to me is the fact that I am now comfortable enough here that I can go off on my own and enjoy all of these experience solo. I love going off on my own here and interacting with these people! What was supposed to be a normal day out running to clear my head turned into a memorable day....then again, I can't think of many days that AREN'T memorable here. I am continually trying to soak up every ounce of beauty and love around me, in fear that I will have no choice but to leave in 3 months. I can't imagine leaving this beautiful country, these people people, and all the love that is surrounding me anytime soon!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
"A Friend For Life"
This weekend, we decided to once again travel to Isla De Tigre; on the southernmost part of Honduras for a couple of days of R&R. I have to say that it was by far one of the best decisions I've made during my time here, despite the fact that it involved 7 hours of travel in both directions, and a small child practically vomiting on our feet on the excursion home while his mother slept soundly.
In any case, we arrived on the island pretty early on Friday. I decided to sun myself on the beach for a couple of hours (big surprise) and ended up talking with a local by the name of Noel. Later on in the day, he ended up giving us a ride over to Playa Negra to swim and enjoy more sun (which I did not need at this point). In any case, what was really special about this whole situation was that Noel insisted on buying us mangoes from the locals on the way down. He also waited with us during our 2 hours on the beach, and afterward led us to the home of one of his distant family members, proudly boasting that he had a place for us to shower. We ended up in a backyard washing the sand off our bodies with a bucket (which I essentially do consider a "shower" at this point in my time here). Where else would you get this type of service and attention? Only on Isle de Tigre!
In any case, our time on the island was beautiful, but a bit heartbreaking. As I said in an earlier post, the island itself holds such natural beauty that I could imagine remaining there for the rest of my life and being perfectly content. The sunsets are beyond marvelous. The mountains surrounding create a perfect setting for photo opportunities. As mentioned earlier though; these resources are being under utilized due to a lack of financial resources. The poverty on the island seems to be a degree worse than the poverty on the mainland.
We ended up staying our second night on the island in the house next door. There is a sweet couple living there who were renting out one room for 300 lempira a night, right next door the restaurant where we have eaten all of our meals during our past two trips. (As a side note, the owner of the hotel brought us out this delicious cornbread type of treat "on the house" last night as we downed our 4 cups of coffee. I think they must think all Americans are caffeine addicts after dealing with the likes of us for 3 days!) In any case; back to the owners of our humble abode for last night. Their names were MariaJesus and Adolpho, and we ended up sitting outside with them for several hours talking about the history of the island and their family who had departed to make a better life for themselves in the States, and also in Spain. I was surprised to learn that the island population is just 1300 people, and that most have fled to Tegus to seek work. What a shame that such a beautiful place is becoming deserted for the mere fact that there is no work to be found. I wish I could share the natural beauty of this destination with you all.
Today when we left, I was talking to one of the boat drivers and telling him how much I liked his "Playa Burro" shirt, complete with a moose swigging a hefty sized beer mug. He started to take it off of his body, saying he wanted to give it to me as a gift. I thought of the expression of "giving someone the shirt off their back" and have to admit that I did have some tears in my eyes as we coasted away from the island. When we got off at the dock in Coyolito to board the bus, one of the men who helped us out said "you have friends for life here. We know you now. Come back home again." I left with a number in my phone for the hotel, with a promise to go back again. I think I have fallen just as in love with Isla de Tigre as I have Juticalpa! I feel a longing to go back already!!!!
In any case, we arrived on the island pretty early on Friday. I decided to sun myself on the beach for a couple of hours (big surprise) and ended up talking with a local by the name of Noel. Later on in the day, he ended up giving us a ride over to Playa Negra to swim and enjoy more sun (which I did not need at this point). In any case, what was really special about this whole situation was that Noel insisted on buying us mangoes from the locals on the way down. He also waited with us during our 2 hours on the beach, and afterward led us to the home of one of his distant family members, proudly boasting that he had a place for us to shower. We ended up in a backyard washing the sand off our bodies with a bucket (which I essentially do consider a "shower" at this point in my time here). Where else would you get this type of service and attention? Only on Isle de Tigre!
In any case, our time on the island was beautiful, but a bit heartbreaking. As I said in an earlier post, the island itself holds such natural beauty that I could imagine remaining there for the rest of my life and being perfectly content. The sunsets are beyond marvelous. The mountains surrounding create a perfect setting for photo opportunities. As mentioned earlier though; these resources are being under utilized due to a lack of financial resources. The poverty on the island seems to be a degree worse than the poverty on the mainland.
We ended up staying our second night on the island in the house next door. There is a sweet couple living there who were renting out one room for 300 lempira a night, right next door the restaurant where we have eaten all of our meals during our past two trips. (As a side note, the owner of the hotel brought us out this delicious cornbread type of treat "on the house" last night as we downed our 4 cups of coffee. I think they must think all Americans are caffeine addicts after dealing with the likes of us for 3 days!) In any case; back to the owners of our humble abode for last night. Their names were MariaJesus and Adolpho, and we ended up sitting outside with them for several hours talking about the history of the island and their family who had departed to make a better life for themselves in the States, and also in Spain. I was surprised to learn that the island population is just 1300 people, and that most have fled to Tegus to seek work. What a shame that such a beautiful place is becoming deserted for the mere fact that there is no work to be found. I wish I could share the natural beauty of this destination with you all.
Today when we left, I was talking to one of the boat drivers and telling him how much I liked his "Playa Burro" shirt, complete with a moose swigging a hefty sized beer mug. He started to take it off of his body, saying he wanted to give it to me as a gift. I thought of the expression of "giving someone the shirt off their back" and have to admit that I did have some tears in my eyes as we coasted away from the island. When we got off at the dock in Coyolito to board the bus, one of the men who helped us out said "you have friends for life here. We know you now. Come back home again." I left with a number in my phone for the hotel, with a promise to go back again. I think I have fallen just as in love with Isla de Tigre as I have Juticalpa! I feel a longing to go back already!!!!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Random thoughts and worries...
Typically, I like to keep this blog as a means to update all of you at home on the things I have been doing here. I like to share stories about people, places, and events that have touched my heart because I know many of these same things have touched yours at one point or another. For some reason though; I am at a point in my journey here where I feel as though I need to take a deeper look at this experience and the place I am at in my life right now because of it. I guess I am sharing some of my current feelings and reactions on a more personal level than I ever have in my blog but for some reason I feel the need to do so.
Prior to my coming here, I just wasn't happy with my life in any aspect. I felt as though many of my relationships with people were strained, I was working a dead end job, and my faith in the good of humanity had all but disappeared. That is why I made the decision to come down here and spend a year trying to help better an organization and a group of people that myself and many people in my life who I consider important felt an attachment too. I believe that maybe by coming down here, I would find something that was missing in my life and gain some sense of direction on where I wanted to go from here both with my career and my personal life. I have to say that at times I feel very bipolar here- a rollercoaster of emotions to be exact. There are days where I will be laughing one moment, and break down into tears at the next. However. although this has definitely been the most difficult 6 months of my life it has also been the most fulfilling. I have learned things about myself that never would have been revealed to me had I not come here. I have found things about myself that I don't like and have resolved to change them. I have learned that I have talents that I never knew that I had before. I have figured out both my greatest strengths, and my greatest weaknesses as well. Coming here has stripped me down to my core and made me realize exactly who I am. Some of it is difficult to see, but sometimes you have to realize what things you need to work on in your life to get where you really want to go.
Being here has been so fulfilling. I often wonder how I will ever be able to return home. Sure, there are a million materialistic reasons to return home. There's the hot showers. There's the endless list of delicious foods that can't be obtained here. There's the family vacations on extravagant cruise ships. There's the nights out on the town in Boston and the 9.00 Expresso desserts with my girl friends.
Then of course there are the non-materialistic things- knowing that I have an amazing group of people around me who love and support me. There's the sense of comfort and familiarity that I don't have here. There's the knowing that those around me know me and understand me, and I can always be myself- flaws and all. There's the relationships that I have spent years developing with friends that will always be there no matter what. These are things I have learned to cherish during my time here that I maybe never really thought about before.
However; despite all these things I am starting to wonder- how will I ever return? I came here to search for things that I'll never find when I go back to the States. I worry that my life will seem even LESS fulfilled now that I have had this experience. I wonder if I'll ever be able to pick up and leave. A part of my heart will always have to be left here. Will I be able to function and return to a state of normalcy with so much of my heart left in this country? Friends here will be wearing the wardrobe of clothes I leave behind. Wendy will be wearing the bracelet I brought back for her from the States for being such a good friend to me. My students will forever hold on to the notebooks of English vocabulary words I have taught them. The friendship bracelets I have given them will be kept in safekeeping I am sure. I'm starting to feel as though this is becoming my home. I am starting to realize that I have come to a point in my journey here where I am in fact thinking of the day I eventually will have to leave. Despite my weeks of seemingly never-ending illnesses recently and my longing to go home and take a hot shower and see a REAL doctor, the thought of actually leaving and not turning back breaks my heart. I am starting to think about how I am going to be able to do it, and where I will go on my next journey when I do actually leave here. Where will I go from here? Who will I be? What will I ever do in my life that will rival what I'm doing now? In a school setting, where will I EVER find the challenge that I've found here (both behaviorally and academically- BELIEVE ME- teaching ESL is HARD!) When will I ever be embraced by a different culture and people the way I have been here? Where will I ever find another opportunity in my career to feel as though I am being surrounded by people who I have set out to help, but are in reality helping ME in more ways than I'll ever help them? When will I ever be humbled in this way again?
Prior to my coming here, I just wasn't happy with my life in any aspect. I felt as though many of my relationships with people were strained, I was working a dead end job, and my faith in the good of humanity had all but disappeared. That is why I made the decision to come down here and spend a year trying to help better an organization and a group of people that myself and many people in my life who I consider important felt an attachment too. I believe that maybe by coming down here, I would find something that was missing in my life and gain some sense of direction on where I wanted to go from here both with my career and my personal life. I have to say that at times I feel very bipolar here- a rollercoaster of emotions to be exact. There are days where I will be laughing one moment, and break down into tears at the next. However. although this has definitely been the most difficult 6 months of my life it has also been the most fulfilling. I have learned things about myself that never would have been revealed to me had I not come here. I have found things about myself that I don't like and have resolved to change them. I have learned that I have talents that I never knew that I had before. I have figured out both my greatest strengths, and my greatest weaknesses as well. Coming here has stripped me down to my core and made me realize exactly who I am. Some of it is difficult to see, but sometimes you have to realize what things you need to work on in your life to get where you really want to go.
Being here has been so fulfilling. I often wonder how I will ever be able to return home. Sure, there are a million materialistic reasons to return home. There's the hot showers. There's the endless list of delicious foods that can't be obtained here. There's the family vacations on extravagant cruise ships. There's the nights out on the town in Boston and the 9.00 Expresso desserts with my girl friends.
Then of course there are the non-materialistic things- knowing that I have an amazing group of people around me who love and support me. There's the sense of comfort and familiarity that I don't have here. There's the knowing that those around me know me and understand me, and I can always be myself- flaws and all. There's the relationships that I have spent years developing with friends that will always be there no matter what. These are things I have learned to cherish during my time here that I maybe never really thought about before.
However; despite all these things I am starting to wonder- how will I ever return? I came here to search for things that I'll never find when I go back to the States. I worry that my life will seem even LESS fulfilled now that I have had this experience. I wonder if I'll ever be able to pick up and leave. A part of my heart will always have to be left here. Will I be able to function and return to a state of normalcy with so much of my heart left in this country? Friends here will be wearing the wardrobe of clothes I leave behind. Wendy will be wearing the bracelet I brought back for her from the States for being such a good friend to me. My students will forever hold on to the notebooks of English vocabulary words I have taught them. The friendship bracelets I have given them will be kept in safekeeping I am sure. I'm starting to feel as though this is becoming my home. I am starting to realize that I have come to a point in my journey here where I am in fact thinking of the day I eventually will have to leave. Despite my weeks of seemingly never-ending illnesses recently and my longing to go home and take a hot shower and see a REAL doctor, the thought of actually leaving and not turning back breaks my heart. I am starting to think about how I am going to be able to do it, and where I will go on my next journey when I do actually leave here. Where will I go from here? Who will I be? What will I ever do in my life that will rival what I'm doing now? In a school setting, where will I EVER find the challenge that I've found here (both behaviorally and academically- BELIEVE ME- teaching ESL is HARD!) When will I ever be embraced by a different culture and people the way I have been here? Where will I ever find another opportunity in my career to feel as though I am being surrounded by people who I have set out to help, but are in reality helping ME in more ways than I'll ever help them? When will I ever be humbled in this way again?
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
A much needed update...
Hey all. I just realized it has been 2 weeks since I have updated my blog. Things have been absolutely insanely busy here, and I have had little time to actually sit down and think. I hope this entry finds you all well and healthy. I'd like to say a special congratulations to Bob and Sandy Fisher on the arrival of their new bundle of joy. I'd also like to extend a special congratulations to my friend Meghan on her pregnancy. I'm so happy for you all!!!!
I have to admit that I've had quite a challenging couple of weeks. I have been trying to work on some behavioral problems within my classroom and I broke down into tears the other day because I felt at "wit's end" with a couple of my students. I actually had two kids who were on suspension for 3 days last week for trying to strangle other students. To say that I've been a bit frustrated would be an understatement. Sometimes I feel as though all I do is play referee when I really want to be teaching. Thankfully, I have since gone to Annie's house and vented to her for 2 hours straight. I think that is all that I needed, because I was able to head back into my classroom last week and implement new behavioral methods that SEEM to be working (knock on wood!) Additionally, one of the parents approached me on the playground last week and thanked me for being so hard on her son. She told me that she was "on board" with me with any behavioral expectations I wanted to set. The crazy father who yelled at me on the bus in November has also been super nice to me as well. He brought me a piece of chocolate cake today at lunch. All in all, it has been the usual rollercoaster that being here in general has been for me. I know that in the end, everything I am doing is in the best interest of my children. Let me tell you though; disciplining here is HARD!!!!! I am known as the "tough teacher" around here. I never thought I would hear myself with that type of label. Yikes!!!!
On a more positive note, we are well into the third of four quarters at Santa Clara. Last week was the true test of how much my students have learned up until this point. I have to proudly announce that out of 43 students, only 3 will probably not move on to second grade next year. I can hardly believe that 40 students who did not know a word of English in September know all of their letters and sounds. I have about a dozen who are actually reading in English. Every morning, the other section of first graders (who are with Brenda first thing) come in to say that they want to spend the entire day in English class. I must be doing something right!
On a sadder note, I have to say that I was a bit heartbroken last week. DonaMarina, who is one of the cleaning women at Santa Clara was in my class cleaning up after our Valentines Day party. She is a woman with a heart of gold, who is always inviting me over to her house, or making me a cup of hot coffee in the morning (which I gratefully take...although WHO drinks hot coffee in 100 degree heat?). In any case, after our party I caught her poking through my trash can and stuffing the remains of a Valentines Day cake (all that was left was the frosting and some crumbs) into her purse. It is so often that I forget how poor she really is. I learned that she only makes about 3.00 a day working at Santa Clara, and she has a daughter in the second grade. I am living a pretty simple life on my 50.00 a week stipend, so I cannot even begin to fathom the struggles that she is facing. It's so hard to remember how she lives, because she comes to work with a smile on her face every morning, and is always wondering how I am doing. She never ever complains about her struggles. I guess what she lacks in material riches she makes up for in spirit and heart.
I wanted to announce that I will be home for the Semana Santa week in April. I'll actually be taking a few extra days off and flying back here with the Holy Family group on April 16th. As much as I would have loved to travel to Costa Rica, I really think I just need a couple of weeks of doing absolutely NOTHING. I need to just relax and process everything that has been happening around me. And honestly; I'd rather spend the 2 weeks with my family and friends who I am missing quite a bit these days. Besides, there's always next year's Semana Santa for a trip to Costa Rica; right? :-)
I have to admit that I've had quite a challenging couple of weeks. I have been trying to work on some behavioral problems within my classroom and I broke down into tears the other day because I felt at "wit's end" with a couple of my students. I actually had two kids who were on suspension for 3 days last week for trying to strangle other students. To say that I've been a bit frustrated would be an understatement. Sometimes I feel as though all I do is play referee when I really want to be teaching. Thankfully, I have since gone to Annie's house and vented to her for 2 hours straight. I think that is all that I needed, because I was able to head back into my classroom last week and implement new behavioral methods that SEEM to be working (knock on wood!) Additionally, one of the parents approached me on the playground last week and thanked me for being so hard on her son. She told me that she was "on board" with me with any behavioral expectations I wanted to set. The crazy father who yelled at me on the bus in November has also been super nice to me as well. He brought me a piece of chocolate cake today at lunch. All in all, it has been the usual rollercoaster that being here in general has been for me. I know that in the end, everything I am doing is in the best interest of my children. Let me tell you though; disciplining here is HARD!!!!! I am known as the "tough teacher" around here. I never thought I would hear myself with that type of label. Yikes!!!!
On a more positive note, we are well into the third of four quarters at Santa Clara. Last week was the true test of how much my students have learned up until this point. I have to proudly announce that out of 43 students, only 3 will probably not move on to second grade next year. I can hardly believe that 40 students who did not know a word of English in September know all of their letters and sounds. I have about a dozen who are actually reading in English. Every morning, the other section of first graders (who are with Brenda first thing) come in to say that they want to spend the entire day in English class. I must be doing something right!
On a sadder note, I have to say that I was a bit heartbroken last week. DonaMarina, who is one of the cleaning women at Santa Clara was in my class cleaning up after our Valentines Day party. She is a woman with a heart of gold, who is always inviting me over to her house, or making me a cup of hot coffee in the morning (which I gratefully take...although WHO drinks hot coffee in 100 degree heat?). In any case, after our party I caught her poking through my trash can and stuffing the remains of a Valentines Day cake (all that was left was the frosting and some crumbs) into her purse. It is so often that I forget how poor she really is. I learned that she only makes about 3.00 a day working at Santa Clara, and she has a daughter in the second grade. I am living a pretty simple life on my 50.00 a week stipend, so I cannot even begin to fathom the struggles that she is facing. It's so hard to remember how she lives, because she comes to work with a smile on her face every morning, and is always wondering how I am doing. She never ever complains about her struggles. I guess what she lacks in material riches she makes up for in spirit and heart.
I wanted to announce that I will be home for the Semana Santa week in April. I'll actually be taking a few extra days off and flying back here with the Holy Family group on April 16th. As much as I would have loved to travel to Costa Rica, I really think I just need a couple of weeks of doing absolutely NOTHING. I need to just relax and process everything that has been happening around me. And honestly; I'd rather spend the 2 weeks with my family and friends who I am missing quite a bit these days. Besides, there's always next year's Semana Santa for a trip to Costa Rica; right? :-)
Monday, February 2, 2009
Tengo meido!!!!
Hello all...things are really starting to "heat up" here. Gone are the days of going for runs at 3:00 in the afternoon and enjoying a nice breeze. I came in from my afternoon run (which I left for at 3:00) and I have decided I don't think I'll be doing that again anytime soon. Since it hasn't rained too often, my lungs are full of dust. I also don't think I've ever sweat so much in my life. Thank GOD I have a shower that works here at the Colonia. I think I'm going to be using it more and more frequently!
In any case; I just wanted to share a bit of a funny story from my classroom last week. We read a story about Franklin (for those of you over 12 and/or those of you who don't work with children); Franklin is a turtle and a popular children's icon. In any case; in this particular story, Franklin was afraid of the dark and didn't like to hide in his own shell. After the story, I had the children share some of the things that they were afraid of. Most of the answers were pretty predictable: spiders, bugs, the dark, big dogs. However; a half a dozen or so kids kept screaming out "Chookie, chookie!" I had no clue what this was, so I asked Wendy (my third grade teacher friend) what on earth the kids wer etalking about. Well, lo and behold; they were making a reference to CHUCKIE. As in, the scary redhead doll from the horror movies. I don't know why I thought it was so comical, but apparently "Chookie" is huge here even though he is well past his day in the States. :-) Just thought I'd share a little Juticalpan comedy with you all.
Bree and I enjoyed a lovely weekend in Isla De Tigre; which is the southernmost part of Honduras. It's actually an island a 15 minute boat ride off of Coyolito (southernmost point). From the island, you can see the neighboring countries of Gautamala and El Salvador. Pretty darn cool, if you ask me! In any case, we enjoyed 2 days of swimming on black sand beaches (my first time swimming in the ocean in Honduras...can you believe it), and enjoying fresh squeezed lemonade in the hotel hammocks. There's more. Get this: We enjoyed LOBSTER for only 10.00 U.S money!!!! The seafood was incredible! I had this fantastic soup with lobster tail, crab legs, and steamers in this ridiculously delicious cream broth. Mmmmm! O.k, enough about the food! (Sorry, I can't help myself when it comes to talking about good culinary experiences, since they are few and far between here). In any case, the weekend was fun but tiring . It was a 7 hour trip that required us to switch buses 3 times to get where we were going. Add in the factor that we only had a regular 2 day weekend to do all of this, and you have the equation for fatigue.
In any case, the island was beautiful, but a bit saddening. It was breathtaking and there is so much potential there for an amazing tourist destination. We talked to a couple of the locals, and it seems like it is a "hot spot" for the Holy Week for some of the Hondurans and a frequent backpacker stop for people like ourselves; but overall the island's beauty is under utilized because of the poverty and lack of people who can invest in it. I definitely hope to head back again at some point during my stay here.
Speaking of my stay, I wanted to announce that I am seriously considering the possibility of staying here another year. I have really begun to "find my groove" in the past 6 or 8 weeks and I think I could accomplish even MORE next year having a year of experience under my belt. Just a thought, but it is something I am considering!
Hope you are all doing well! I know you were eagerly looking forward to this entry :-) (I got a couple of emails this week from past Team Members). Love and miss you all!
In any case; I just wanted to share a bit of a funny story from my classroom last week. We read a story about Franklin (for those of you over 12 and/or those of you who don't work with children); Franklin is a turtle and a popular children's icon. In any case; in this particular story, Franklin was afraid of the dark and didn't like to hide in his own shell. After the story, I had the children share some of the things that they were afraid of. Most of the answers were pretty predictable: spiders, bugs, the dark, big dogs. However; a half a dozen or so kids kept screaming out "Chookie, chookie!" I had no clue what this was, so I asked Wendy (my third grade teacher friend) what on earth the kids wer etalking about. Well, lo and behold; they were making a reference to CHUCKIE. As in, the scary redhead doll from the horror movies. I don't know why I thought it was so comical, but apparently "Chookie" is huge here even though he is well past his day in the States. :-) Just thought I'd share a little Juticalpan comedy with you all.
Bree and I enjoyed a lovely weekend in Isla De Tigre; which is the southernmost part of Honduras. It's actually an island a 15 minute boat ride off of Coyolito (southernmost point). From the island, you can see the neighboring countries of Gautamala and El Salvador. Pretty darn cool, if you ask me! In any case, we enjoyed 2 days of swimming on black sand beaches (my first time swimming in the ocean in Honduras...can you believe it), and enjoying fresh squeezed lemonade in the hotel hammocks. There's more. Get this: We enjoyed LOBSTER for only 10.00 U.S money!!!! The seafood was incredible! I had this fantastic soup with lobster tail, crab legs, and steamers in this ridiculously delicious cream broth. Mmmmm! O.k, enough about the food! (Sorry, I can't help myself when it comes to talking about good culinary experiences, since they are few and far between here). In any case, the weekend was fun but tiring . It was a 7 hour trip that required us to switch buses 3 times to get where we were going. Add in the factor that we only had a regular 2 day weekend to do all of this, and you have the equation for fatigue.
In any case, the island was beautiful, but a bit saddening. It was breathtaking and there is so much potential there for an amazing tourist destination. We talked to a couple of the locals, and it seems like it is a "hot spot" for the Holy Week for some of the Hondurans and a frequent backpacker stop for people like ourselves; but overall the island's beauty is under utilized because of the poverty and lack of people who can invest in it. I definitely hope to head back again at some point during my stay here.
Speaking of my stay, I wanted to announce that I am seriously considering the possibility of staying here another year. I have really begun to "find my groove" in the past 6 or 8 weeks and I think I could accomplish even MORE next year having a year of experience under my belt. Just a thought, but it is something I am considering!
Hope you are all doing well! I know you were eagerly looking forward to this entry :-) (I got a couple of emails this week from past Team Members). Love and miss you all!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Weekly Update
I have to report that things have been pretty calm this week here in Juticalpa. That is, pretty calm if you are used to writing out report cards and collecting grades from a multitude of different specialty class teachers who are running on Honduran time. :-) The week has been pretty uneventful and full of TONS of paperwork. I now do not envy all of the teachers that I had growing up. In fact, I have a newfound respect for them.
My kids must have sensed how much work I had to get done last week. They rewarded my fatigue by making sure to come to school with extra sugar in their systems. I had to deal with a lot of side drama last week, including one student trying to stab another one in the eye with a pair of scissors. Welcome to first grade! Never a dull moment!
In any case, I was feeling pretty exhausted this weekend. Only in Juticalpa would I be ready for bed by 8:00 on both Friday and Saturday night. I went out for dinner with Lissy (a teacher from Nazareth) and her friend Roberto (who owns Plasticos de Juticalpa) on Friday night with Bree. It was a lot of fun and we had a lot of laughs. I am amazed at how my Spanish is coming along. I'm able to hold full conversations with people now, and I am really starting to actually prefer listening to and speaking in Spanish over English! Sure, I talk primarily in the present tense, but I figure it is better than where I was at when I arrived in August! In any case, it was a fun night out. I confessed to Roberto; whom we all call "Roberto Plasticos" due to his family's store that I genuinely thought his last name was "plasticos" for months on end. This created a good amount of laughs. It's so funny how I am continually saying ridiculous or funny things and everyone is so good natured about it.
Anyways, off I go to grade a stack of papers about a mile high and finish up some paperwork for Annie for report cards. Next weekend will provide some much needed R&R as Bree, Ginny, and I head to the South coast. We will be headed away for 2 nights to Isle de Tigre, which is a small island about 90 mins south of Tegus. It should be interesting. It will be my first time getting to lay on an actual beach in my six months here thus far. Can you believe it? I; Erin, Beach Bum of the World, have been living in a climate where the temperature exceeds 80 degrees everyday and I've yet to lay on the beach. I am very much looking forward to it! Love and miss you all and sending you some sunshine to freezing cold Boston!
My kids must have sensed how much work I had to get done last week. They rewarded my fatigue by making sure to come to school with extra sugar in their systems. I had to deal with a lot of side drama last week, including one student trying to stab another one in the eye with a pair of scissors. Welcome to first grade! Never a dull moment!
In any case, I was feeling pretty exhausted this weekend. Only in Juticalpa would I be ready for bed by 8:00 on both Friday and Saturday night. I went out for dinner with Lissy (a teacher from Nazareth) and her friend Roberto (who owns Plasticos de Juticalpa) on Friday night with Bree. It was a lot of fun and we had a lot of laughs. I am amazed at how my Spanish is coming along. I'm able to hold full conversations with people now, and I am really starting to actually prefer listening to and speaking in Spanish over English! Sure, I talk primarily in the present tense, but I figure it is better than where I was at when I arrived in August! In any case, it was a fun night out. I confessed to Roberto; whom we all call "Roberto Plasticos" due to his family's store that I genuinely thought his last name was "plasticos" for months on end. This created a good amount of laughs. It's so funny how I am continually saying ridiculous or funny things and everyone is so good natured about it.
Anyways, off I go to grade a stack of papers about a mile high and finish up some paperwork for Annie for report cards. Next weekend will provide some much needed R&R as Bree, Ginny, and I head to the South coast. We will be headed away for 2 nights to Isle de Tigre, which is a small island about 90 mins south of Tegus. It should be interesting. It will be my first time getting to lay on an actual beach in my six months here thus far. Can you believe it? I; Erin, Beach Bum of the World, have been living in a climate where the temperature exceeds 80 degrees everyday and I've yet to lay on the beach. I am very much looking forward to it! Love and miss you all and sending you some sunshine to freezing cold Boston!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Something I wanted to share with you all
Hello all...just a quick update to let you know I am doing well and keeping VERY busy. We are in the process of starting a new reading curriculum at Santa Clara and I have been meeting with Annie to help decide how we will train Honduran staff on using it. Additionally, grades are due in at the end of this week. Not a whole lot to report on as I've mostly been busy with paperwork and planning (no exciting travel yet!)
I would like to share with you an email correspondance I've been having with a woman from Kansas City, MO. Her family hosted one of my students a couple of years back when she had a major hip surgery. This year, the same woman and her family decided to sponser this particular student's Santa Clara education. Sandra is one of my favorite students. She is a beautiful, bright, loving child. I did not realize that anything had ever been wrong with her until I received this email. I hope that you are all touched by this woman's kindness just as I was.
Miss you all, and hope to write up an longer update this weekend!
Erin
Erin;
How we met Sandra is sort of a long story but I love to tell it and I am chatty so here goes . . . Mario Castro is a pulmonologist here in St. Louis who goes to Honduras every year on a medical mission. I was a youth minister at the church he attended, Our Lady of the Pillar. I had his 3 sons in various VBS, Confirmation, etc. He has become friends with Bishop Muldoon and is trying to help Muldoon get a Catholic hospital going there. He knows a woman, Kathy Corbett, who runs a non-profit here in St. Louis called Healing the Children. They bring kids over to the US for surgery - all of it paid for by donation. One of Sandra's legs was longer than the other and it caused her to limp, It was b/c of a hip problem she had ... possibly from birth ... it was never in socket properly. She was used to walking with a limp and it did not really cause her much trouble but as she grows and into adulthood, the pain would become more severe and there would be more problems for her. Dunia, Sandra's mom, heard on the radio that some doctors from the US were going to be somewhere in Juticalpa checking kids to see if they qualified for surgery in the US. Sandra qualified so Mario sent out an email asking for host families. At the time, we had 2 sons, RJ and Michael who were 2 and 5. We had just moved into a bigger house which was VERY handicap accessible down to bars in the bathtubs, etc. We met Kathy Corbett, saw the pictures of Sandra and asked if we could host. The VERY NEXT DAY, I found out I was pregnant again. I do not have the easiest pregnancies but I did not want to back out on our commitment either so they allowed Dunia, Sandra's mom, to come with her. Well it was a good thing b/c Sandra's surgery was very invovled and she was in a full body cast for almost 8 weeks . . . flat on her back in a LONG wheelchair that she learned how to manuever in our house in about a day. She needed a bed pan, someone to assist her with most daily tasks and most of all . . . to help alleviate her boredom!!!! :-) Dunia and Sandra ended up living with us for almost 6 months and became like family to us. They left a few weeks before my baby was born but accompanied me through the whole pregnancy! Sandra's surgery was very involved and required round the clock care. She had lots of therapy and had to learn to walk again, etc. Dunia, her mother, was a diligent, loving, devoted caretaker. She kept Sandra very CLEAN (difficult to do w/a full body cast on), and made her do her exercises all the time. Sandra is a doll but those last 2 weeks in the cast were pretty tough on everybody. I learned a lot about patience and perseverence from DUNIA at that time. We also learned how smart Sandra was. My Dad made her learn her Spanish alphabet. Somewhere around here, we have pictures of her out on our patio flat on her back in a wheelchair with MY DAD pointing at an easel w/ the ABCS on it. Before they left we were struggling with trying to figure out how to help them. When we realized how bright Sandra was, we knew that the key to breaking the poverty cycle in her family was a good education for Sandra. It was sort of complicated though. Sandra had never lived with her mother. She lived with her "Abuelos" and aunts and uncles in a small town outside of Juticalpa. Dunia lived in the city and sent money home to Sandra and her abuelos, seeing Sandra on weekends, etc. Dunia had Sandra very young and Sandra's father was abusive to Dunia during the pregnancy so she left him. Sandra definitely has issues with not having a relationship with her father but she is very blessed with loving faithful grandparents and a loving patient mother in Dunia. As with most families there, there is very little money to go around and Sandra went to school but not so great as far as academics. We asked Dunia if we could pay to send Sandra to a better school . . 1. B/c the education so important and 2. so they could live together. Dunia said yes and so with just a few days before school started, Mario looked into it and the Bishop helped us arrange it all. Our Lady of the Pillar Vacation Bible School actually helped pay for a good portion of her schooling this year just by bringing money with them from their piggy banks. They met her b/c she went to Bible School there - wheelchair and all! Just last week we found out that Dunia lost her job in the store where she cleans in Juticalpa. I guess the economic struggles are everywhere. We really are praying she finds a new job soon so she can keep her apartment, etc. If you hear of any good cleaning jobs, maybe you can let me or Dunia know. There is so much more to tell but my husband just walked in and saw this email, laughed and suggested I keep it brief so you will keep reading them! :-)
Hope to write more later. Please give Sandra a kiss from us! Sara Clark
I would like to share with you an email correspondance I've been having with a woman from Kansas City, MO. Her family hosted one of my students a couple of years back when she had a major hip surgery. This year, the same woman and her family decided to sponser this particular student's Santa Clara education. Sandra is one of my favorite students. She is a beautiful, bright, loving child. I did not realize that anything had ever been wrong with her until I received this email. I hope that you are all touched by this woman's kindness just as I was.
Miss you all, and hope to write up an longer update this weekend!
Erin
Erin;
How we met Sandra is sort of a long story but I love to tell it and I am chatty so here goes . . . Mario Castro is a pulmonologist here in St. Louis who goes to Honduras every year on a medical mission. I was a youth minister at the church he attended, Our Lady of the Pillar. I had his 3 sons in various VBS, Confirmation, etc. He has become friends with Bishop Muldoon and is trying to help Muldoon get a Catholic hospital going there. He knows a woman, Kathy Corbett, who runs a non-profit here in St. Louis called Healing the Children. They bring kids over to the US for surgery - all of it paid for by donation. One of Sandra's legs was longer than the other and it caused her to limp, It was b/c of a hip problem she had ... possibly from birth ... it was never in socket properly. She was used to walking with a limp and it did not really cause her much trouble but as she grows and into adulthood, the pain would become more severe and there would be more problems for her. Dunia, Sandra's mom, heard on the radio that some doctors from the US were going to be somewhere in Juticalpa checking kids to see if they qualified for surgery in the US. Sandra qualified so Mario sent out an email asking for host families. At the time, we had 2 sons, RJ and Michael who were 2 and 5. We had just moved into a bigger house which was VERY handicap accessible down to bars in the bathtubs, etc. We met Kathy Corbett, saw the pictures of Sandra and asked if we could host. The VERY NEXT DAY, I found out I was pregnant again. I do not have the easiest pregnancies but I did not want to back out on our commitment either so they allowed Dunia, Sandra's mom, to come with her. Well it was a good thing b/c Sandra's surgery was very invovled and she was in a full body cast for almost 8 weeks . . . flat on her back in a LONG wheelchair that she learned how to manuever in our house in about a day. She needed a bed pan, someone to assist her with most daily tasks and most of all . . . to help alleviate her boredom!!!! :-) Dunia and Sandra ended up living with us for almost 6 months and became like family to us. They left a few weeks before my baby was born but accompanied me through the whole pregnancy! Sandra's surgery was very involved and required round the clock care. She had lots of therapy and had to learn to walk again, etc. Dunia, her mother, was a diligent, loving, devoted caretaker. She kept Sandra very CLEAN (difficult to do w/a full body cast on), and made her do her exercises all the time. Sandra is a doll but those last 2 weeks in the cast were pretty tough on everybody. I learned a lot about patience and perseverence from DUNIA at that time. We also learned how smart Sandra was. My Dad made her learn her Spanish alphabet. Somewhere around here, we have pictures of her out on our patio flat on her back in a wheelchair with MY DAD pointing at an easel w/ the ABCS on it. Before they left we were struggling with trying to figure out how to help them. When we realized how bright Sandra was, we knew that the key to breaking the poverty cycle in her family was a good education for Sandra. It was sort of complicated though. Sandra had never lived with her mother. She lived with her "Abuelos" and aunts and uncles in a small town outside of Juticalpa. Dunia lived in the city and sent money home to Sandra and her abuelos, seeing Sandra on weekends, etc. Dunia had Sandra very young and Sandra's father was abusive to Dunia during the pregnancy so she left him. Sandra definitely has issues with not having a relationship with her father but she is very blessed with loving faithful grandparents and a loving patient mother in Dunia. As with most families there, there is very little money to go around and Sandra went to school but not so great as far as academics. We asked Dunia if we could pay to send Sandra to a better school . . 1. B/c the education so important and 2. so they could live together. Dunia said yes and so with just a few days before school started, Mario looked into it and the Bishop helped us arrange it all. Our Lady of the Pillar Vacation Bible School actually helped pay for a good portion of her schooling this year just by bringing money with them from their piggy banks. They met her b/c she went to Bible School there - wheelchair and all! Just last week we found out that Dunia lost her job in the store where she cleans in Juticalpa. I guess the economic struggles are everywhere. We really are praying she finds a new job soon so she can keep her apartment, etc. If you hear of any good cleaning jobs, maybe you can let me or Dunia know. There is so much more to tell but my husband just walked in and saw this email, laughed and suggested I keep it brief so you will keep reading them! :-)
Hope to write more later. Please give Sandra a kiss from us! Sara Clark
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Sweet Home Juticalpa
Finally, the weekend has arrived and I have a few moments to sit down and collect all of my thoughts. I arrived back in Juticalpa on Sunday evening and was right back up at the school working on Monday morning at 7am. I barely have even had a moment to just step back and think "wow, my time here really is almost half over." I can hardly believe it is January, but it is.
The two days before I left and my first day back in Juticalpa were difficult. First of all, I somehow acquired this nasty cold at home. After my doctor's experiences here in September and October and my neverending hosts of stomach ailments, the worrywart in me started thinking "what if this turns into pneumonia and I end up in the Juticalpa Hospital". Let me tell you, that is NOT a place where I have any desire to spend any of my time.
Anyway, I have started to get back into the rhythm of things here. My kids were off the wall all week and not much was accomplished, but I think by Friday I had gotten them at least back to understanding my behavioral expectations. (Believe me, this has by far been the most difficult of all of my endeavors here.) In any case, my students seem to have retained all of their letters and sounds and I'm really pleased with the progress they are making. I had 7 students in November that I seriously thought were in "danger" of not being promoted to second grade. Now; I only have 3 that I'm seriously worried about. I have been holding extra classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays after school for these students, and think I may start doing it on Monday and Wednesdays as well. I am realizing that I should never lower my expectations for these kids, because they CAN do it. It is amazing how they are like little sponges, soaking up everything that I say. I do have to say that I'm really proud of myself for how far they have come. Annie told me the other day that my kids are more ready for second grade NOW than last year's class was in JUNE. I must be doing something right!
Even though coming back was a bit difficult, as soon as I stepped off that plane and as soon as I arrived in Juticalpa" with my now old friends; it felt like I had never even left. There was once a time where weekends consisted of sitting around trying to entertain ourselves while sitting in front of 3 fans inside our sweltering apartment. Now; my weekends are loaded with places to go, people to see, and things to do. This weekend, Ginny (the new volunteer) and I have plans to hang out at Wendy's and learn to cook Honduran food. Tonight, I am going to Los Arcos (the local disco) with a few of the teachers from Santa Clara. Tomorrow; we'll all head into Catacamas for some hiking fun.
Realizing that my time here is starting to dwindle, I have to decided to soak up every moment that I have with these people, this culture, and friends I have made that I will have for a lifetime, even though we will be thousands of miles apart. For now, this is home. Sweet home Juticalpa!!!
The two days before I left and my first day back in Juticalpa were difficult. First of all, I somehow acquired this nasty cold at home. After my doctor's experiences here in September and October and my neverending hosts of stomach ailments, the worrywart in me started thinking "what if this turns into pneumonia and I end up in the Juticalpa Hospital". Let me tell you, that is NOT a place where I have any desire to spend any of my time.
Anyway, I have started to get back into the rhythm of things here. My kids were off the wall all week and not much was accomplished, but I think by Friday I had gotten them at least back to understanding my behavioral expectations. (Believe me, this has by far been the most difficult of all of my endeavors here.) In any case, my students seem to have retained all of their letters and sounds and I'm really pleased with the progress they are making. I had 7 students in November that I seriously thought were in "danger" of not being promoted to second grade. Now; I only have 3 that I'm seriously worried about. I have been holding extra classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays after school for these students, and think I may start doing it on Monday and Wednesdays as well. I am realizing that I should never lower my expectations for these kids, because they CAN do it. It is amazing how they are like little sponges, soaking up everything that I say. I do have to say that I'm really proud of myself for how far they have come. Annie told me the other day that my kids are more ready for second grade NOW than last year's class was in JUNE. I must be doing something right!
Even though coming back was a bit difficult, as soon as I stepped off that plane and as soon as I arrived in Juticalpa" with my now old friends; it felt like I had never even left. There was once a time where weekends consisted of sitting around trying to entertain ourselves while sitting in front of 3 fans inside our sweltering apartment. Now; my weekends are loaded with places to go, people to see, and things to do. This weekend, Ginny (the new volunteer) and I have plans to hang out at Wendy's and learn to cook Honduran food. Tonight, I am going to Los Arcos (the local disco) with a few of the teachers from Santa Clara. Tomorrow; we'll all head into Catacamas for some hiking fun.
Realizing that my time here is starting to dwindle, I have to decided to soak up every moment that I have with these people, this culture, and friends I have made that I will have for a lifetime, even though we will be thousands of miles apart. For now, this is home. Sweet home Juticalpa!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
