So often in my blogging on here, I have voiced frustration with my students and their behavior, effort in the classroom, or the administration here not taking enough control over situations happening within the school. A lot of my frustration comes with the act of trying to adjust to a totally different culture; one that is MUCH slower paced than what I am used to. One where important decisions and work are not completed until hours before they need to be. One where people more or less just "roll with the punches" and whatever is meant to be will be.
Sometimes I feel as though I am so filled with frustration here that I forget to really stop and blog about the great things that I see happening in my classroom. The fact of the matter is this: my students are high maintenance. Everyday is a struggle to keep them in line. Here; playing soccer in the classroom when the teacher turns her back for 2 seconds is normal. As is having a wrestling match in the hallways during recess. Such is life in a Honduran school!
Although the discipline problems here would make even the most experienced teacher in North America cringe, there is a sense of compassion and caring for one another that the students have here that I have never seen in any classroom in the States. Nor do I remember this type of compassion in my own classrooms growing up. Here; all the kids seem to play in one big group, and they hardly ever seem to exclude anybody. Even the fifth and sixth graders all play together. There are no "cliques" or "popular groups" here. Everyone kind of looks out for one another. Okay, there are kids who will be kids, but when someone turns their back on another, someone else will stick up for her.
Remember Sandra that I blogged about a month or so ago? Today I witnessed the ultimate act of compassion and love happen between her and another student on the playground. I have another little girl in my class named Clara Maria. Clara Maria lives in the orphanage, and is fortunate enough to be a scholarship recipient here at Santa Clara. In any case, she also has a cleft palate, making evaluating her in a second language class VERY difficult. In any case, another little girl was teasing her on the playground saying that she had no parents and no family and friends and that no one cared about her. I saw the other kids looking horrified, rather than joining in. Then, Sandra stood up and put her arm around Clara and gave the teaser a piece of her mind. She said that Clara was her sister and she lived in her house with her and her mother. This was news to me! I called Sandra over and asked her if it was true, and she immediately got upset and apologized, thinking that I was upset with her for lying. She looked at me and said that it wasn't true, but that she didn't like to see "Clara's heart get hurt" (in English). I think this lesson from the playground today was universal. We can all learn a thing or two about life and the way we should treat other's through the actions of small children. Sandra's act of compassion and love actually brought tears to my eyes. (Although I think the fact that Susan and Bree left this morning did not help...what an EMOTIONAL day! I seem to have a lot of those here!)
72 hours from now I will be en route to Boston. Can't wait to see you all. More importantly though; can't wait to bring some of you back to my new home. I will always consider Juticalpa "mi segundo hogar". They say home is where the heart is. How will I ever divide my heart between two homes? The thought of leaving is breaking this heart of mine, that is for sure!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Quick Update
Unfortunately, this posting isn't going to be nearly as intense or interesting as my previous few; but I know people read my blog religiously so I just wanted to check in and let you know that all has been going well here in Juti.
It's been a crazy couple of weeks. I am going to be taking almost an entire extra week of for Semana Santa vacation, so I am in the process of trying to finish report cards and write out lesson plans for a substitute. In addition, I've decided to take on some extra work with the Olancho Aid board so I am working on going through some of that information as well.
Thing here have been "normal". It seems as though I have just sort of settled into my life here and it is just as busy (and stressful!) as it can be in the States. I have been working long hours and throwing myself into the things that i love to do. I have never felt happier or more comfortable during my time here. I continue to cherish every moment that I have here.
This weekend should be an interesting; yet someone emotional one. It is Susan and Bree's last weekend before they depart for the States. It's kind of bittersweet because Bree and I have shared in this journey together for 8 months and she will leave on Thursday to go back to her life in the States and I will continue doing what I've been doing here. I know that she reads this, so i want to wish her the best of luck with everything that she has coming up ahead of her over the next couple of months (including a BIG MOVE! SAN DIEGO BABY!) In any case, we are heading to Ixa's (principal of Cardinal's) country house tomorrow to go swimming and eat ridiculous amounts of Honduran cuisine. I think on Sunday; Susan and I will head into Catacamas to visit the caves once again (she hasn't seen them yet). The work week next week will be a series of emotional goodbyes for my Companeras de Casa...Monday night we have dinner with some of Bree's university students. Tuesday; we are heading over to Wendita's for some typical Honduran cuisine. I'm so glad I don't have to say these goodbyes yet. I can't even THINK about leaving Wendy right now! I WILL be leaving soon though. For a brief visit to the States. Next Saturday I willl board the plane once again and head to Boston for a MUCH needed vacation. I can't wait to see my friends and family. I especially can't wait to go to Fenway to see my Sox play. "You can take the girl out of Boston, but you can't take the Boston out of the girl!"
Love and miss you all! Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers right now as I make decisions about next year.
It's been a crazy couple of weeks. I am going to be taking almost an entire extra week of for Semana Santa vacation, so I am in the process of trying to finish report cards and write out lesson plans for a substitute. In addition, I've decided to take on some extra work with the Olancho Aid board so I am working on going through some of that information as well.
Thing here have been "normal". It seems as though I have just sort of settled into my life here and it is just as busy (and stressful!) as it can be in the States. I have been working long hours and throwing myself into the things that i love to do. I have never felt happier or more comfortable during my time here. I continue to cherish every moment that I have here.
This weekend should be an interesting; yet someone emotional one. It is Susan and Bree's last weekend before they depart for the States. It's kind of bittersweet because Bree and I have shared in this journey together for 8 months and she will leave on Thursday to go back to her life in the States and I will continue doing what I've been doing here. I know that she reads this, so i want to wish her the best of luck with everything that she has coming up ahead of her over the next couple of months (including a BIG MOVE! SAN DIEGO BABY!) In any case, we are heading to Ixa's (principal of Cardinal's) country house tomorrow to go swimming and eat ridiculous amounts of Honduran cuisine. I think on Sunday; Susan and I will head into Catacamas to visit the caves once again (she hasn't seen them yet). The work week next week will be a series of emotional goodbyes for my Companeras de Casa...Monday night we have dinner with some of Bree's university students. Tuesday; we are heading over to Wendita's for some typical Honduran cuisine. I'm so glad I don't have to say these goodbyes yet. I can't even THINK about leaving Wendy right now! I WILL be leaving soon though. For a brief visit to the States. Next Saturday I willl board the plane once again and head to Boston for a MUCH needed vacation. I can't wait to see my friends and family. I especially can't wait to go to Fenway to see my Sox play. "You can take the girl out of Boston, but you can't take the Boston out of the girl!"
Love and miss you all! Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers right now as I make decisions about next year.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Go Light Your World
The past couple of days have been difficult for me due to some things that have been happening here...but I know I am overdue for an update; so I wanted to share with you a story from today.
I went for a 90 minute run after work today to clear my head after a very stressful week. I decided that it was safe enough to run through one of the neighborhoods on a dirt road close to my home; as I know two of the women who clean the school at Santa Clara live on that road. I've been told here if you know someone who lives on the road you are traveling , that it is safe. Someone is looking out for you.
In any case, I was jogging along when I came across Majorie. I've only met Majorie three times. She has come across me standing near the Esso station waiting for the bus to school in the morning. A kind-hearted old woman, she stops to "talk" to me each time she sees me as she heads off to work to sell bolsas de agua (bottles of water) near the center of town. I'd be lying if I said I understood a single word she says to me. I simply smile and say "si" and act enthusiastic. She speaks at lightening speed and has no teeth, but has an amazing beauty about her nonetheless. She saw me running in the street and started jumping up and down to flag me down and grabbed my arm, speaking a mile a minute. The only thing I caught was her mentioning something about a gringa that seems to like the sun a lot. She let me to a home made of stick and pieces of cardboard and introduced me to every single member of her family as her "hermana" which means "sister" in Spanish. I must have met 25 extended family members, who all kissed me on the cheek and hugged me tightly as if I were in fact a member of their family. Yet another humbling experience! To be out for an afternoon run and to have someone bring me "home" as if I were a member of their family. That seems to be a common theme here. People treat you as though you are their family. It's amazing the love that strangers here have for one another. I oftentimes wonder if the people here see me passing on the road and think that I am better than them, and that I am here to try to "save" them. Then; when I actually engage in conversation with them, I realize that they do not have that impression at all. I feel so grateful to be having this experience with these beautiful people. I am college educated and have so much opportunity for me at home, yet these people who have nothing, who have a third grade education; are offering me much more than I could offer them. The love I am enveloped in on a daily basis is amazing. I can't tell you how many times I come home at night and just lay in my bed and cry, amazed by the beauty of the people around me here. I don't think I am going to ever be able to leave.
After leaving Majorie's house; I decied to head to Pay y Bien; which is the local bakery on the same road the orphanage is on. I have TONS of pastries in my freezer (cheesecake, ice cream AND dark chocolate) thanks to Bree and Susan's birthday presents for me but I decided to go regardless. I picked up a dozen donuts and headed towards a poor barrio. There are many children here who I usually encounter =who approach me begging for a lempira. Today I approached them telling them I had a present for them and handed them the donuts. The smiles that appeared on their faces will stay in my mind forever. I can't even begin to tell you the joy that it brought me to just see these children be normal children for once...and savor a sweet treat. The real treat was for ME! On days where I feel like I am surrounded by so much sadness, I need to do things like this. I then ended up engaging in an hour long game of soccer to which I lost miserably to, but it was worth it to see the children's faces light up when I announced that I had a gift for them. Everyday, I long for them to have a normal life. where they are well fed and cared for, and go to bed with a full stomach. My time with them is beautiful, yet heartbreaking. What is equally amazing to me is the fact that I am now comfortable enough here that I can go off on my own and enjoy all of these experience solo. I love going off on my own here and interacting with these people! What was supposed to be a normal day out running to clear my head turned into a memorable day....then again, I can't think of many days that AREN'T memorable here. I am continually trying to soak up every ounce of beauty and love around me, in fear that I will have no choice but to leave in 3 months. I can't imagine leaving this beautiful country, these people people, and all the love that is surrounding me anytime soon!
I went for a 90 minute run after work today to clear my head after a very stressful week. I decided that it was safe enough to run through one of the neighborhoods on a dirt road close to my home; as I know two of the women who clean the school at Santa Clara live on that road. I've been told here if you know someone who lives on the road you are traveling , that it is safe. Someone is looking out for you.
In any case, I was jogging along when I came across Majorie. I've only met Majorie three times. She has come across me standing near the Esso station waiting for the bus to school in the morning. A kind-hearted old woman, she stops to "talk" to me each time she sees me as she heads off to work to sell bolsas de agua (bottles of water) near the center of town. I'd be lying if I said I understood a single word she says to me. I simply smile and say "si" and act enthusiastic. She speaks at lightening speed and has no teeth, but has an amazing beauty about her nonetheless. She saw me running in the street and started jumping up and down to flag me down and grabbed my arm, speaking a mile a minute. The only thing I caught was her mentioning something about a gringa that seems to like the sun a lot. She let me to a home made of stick and pieces of cardboard and introduced me to every single member of her family as her "hermana" which means "sister" in Spanish. I must have met 25 extended family members, who all kissed me on the cheek and hugged me tightly as if I were in fact a member of their family. Yet another humbling experience! To be out for an afternoon run and to have someone bring me "home" as if I were a member of their family. That seems to be a common theme here. People treat you as though you are their family. It's amazing the love that strangers here have for one another. I oftentimes wonder if the people here see me passing on the road and think that I am better than them, and that I am here to try to "save" them. Then; when I actually engage in conversation with them, I realize that they do not have that impression at all. I feel so grateful to be having this experience with these beautiful people. I am college educated and have so much opportunity for me at home, yet these people who have nothing, who have a third grade education; are offering me much more than I could offer them. The love I am enveloped in on a daily basis is amazing. I can't tell you how many times I come home at night and just lay in my bed and cry, amazed by the beauty of the people around me here. I don't think I am going to ever be able to leave.
After leaving Majorie's house; I decied to head to Pay y Bien; which is the local bakery on the same road the orphanage is on. I have TONS of pastries in my freezer (cheesecake, ice cream AND dark chocolate) thanks to Bree and Susan's birthday presents for me but I decided to go regardless. I picked up a dozen donuts and headed towards a poor barrio. There are many children here who I usually encounter =who approach me begging for a lempira. Today I approached them telling them I had a present for them and handed them the donuts. The smiles that appeared on their faces will stay in my mind forever. I can't even begin to tell you the joy that it brought me to just see these children be normal children for once...and savor a sweet treat. The real treat was for ME! On days where I feel like I am surrounded by so much sadness, I need to do things like this. I then ended up engaging in an hour long game of soccer to which I lost miserably to, but it was worth it to see the children's faces light up when I announced that I had a gift for them. Everyday, I long for them to have a normal life. where they are well fed and cared for, and go to bed with a full stomach. My time with them is beautiful, yet heartbreaking. What is equally amazing to me is the fact that I am now comfortable enough here that I can go off on my own and enjoy all of these experience solo. I love going off on my own here and interacting with these people! What was supposed to be a normal day out running to clear my head turned into a memorable day....then again, I can't think of many days that AREN'T memorable here. I am continually trying to soak up every ounce of beauty and love around me, in fear that I will have no choice but to leave in 3 months. I can't imagine leaving this beautiful country, these people people, and all the love that is surrounding me anytime soon!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
"A Friend For Life"
This weekend, we decided to once again travel to Isla De Tigre; on the southernmost part of Honduras for a couple of days of R&R. I have to say that it was by far one of the best decisions I've made during my time here, despite the fact that it involved 7 hours of travel in both directions, and a small child practically vomiting on our feet on the excursion home while his mother slept soundly.
In any case, we arrived on the island pretty early on Friday. I decided to sun myself on the beach for a couple of hours (big surprise) and ended up talking with a local by the name of Noel. Later on in the day, he ended up giving us a ride over to Playa Negra to swim and enjoy more sun (which I did not need at this point). In any case, what was really special about this whole situation was that Noel insisted on buying us mangoes from the locals on the way down. He also waited with us during our 2 hours on the beach, and afterward led us to the home of one of his distant family members, proudly boasting that he had a place for us to shower. We ended up in a backyard washing the sand off our bodies with a bucket (which I essentially do consider a "shower" at this point in my time here). Where else would you get this type of service and attention? Only on Isle de Tigre!
In any case, our time on the island was beautiful, but a bit heartbreaking. As I said in an earlier post, the island itself holds such natural beauty that I could imagine remaining there for the rest of my life and being perfectly content. The sunsets are beyond marvelous. The mountains surrounding create a perfect setting for photo opportunities. As mentioned earlier though; these resources are being under utilized due to a lack of financial resources. The poverty on the island seems to be a degree worse than the poverty on the mainland.
We ended up staying our second night on the island in the house next door. There is a sweet couple living there who were renting out one room for 300 lempira a night, right next door the restaurant where we have eaten all of our meals during our past two trips. (As a side note, the owner of the hotel brought us out this delicious cornbread type of treat "on the house" last night as we downed our 4 cups of coffee. I think they must think all Americans are caffeine addicts after dealing with the likes of us for 3 days!) In any case; back to the owners of our humble abode for last night. Their names were MariaJesus and Adolpho, and we ended up sitting outside with them for several hours talking about the history of the island and their family who had departed to make a better life for themselves in the States, and also in Spain. I was surprised to learn that the island population is just 1300 people, and that most have fled to Tegus to seek work. What a shame that such a beautiful place is becoming deserted for the mere fact that there is no work to be found. I wish I could share the natural beauty of this destination with you all.
Today when we left, I was talking to one of the boat drivers and telling him how much I liked his "Playa Burro" shirt, complete with a moose swigging a hefty sized beer mug. He started to take it off of his body, saying he wanted to give it to me as a gift. I thought of the expression of "giving someone the shirt off their back" and have to admit that I did have some tears in my eyes as we coasted away from the island. When we got off at the dock in Coyolito to board the bus, one of the men who helped us out said "you have friends for life here. We know you now. Come back home again." I left with a number in my phone for the hotel, with a promise to go back again. I think I have fallen just as in love with Isla de Tigre as I have Juticalpa! I feel a longing to go back already!!!!
In any case, we arrived on the island pretty early on Friday. I decided to sun myself on the beach for a couple of hours (big surprise) and ended up talking with a local by the name of Noel. Later on in the day, he ended up giving us a ride over to Playa Negra to swim and enjoy more sun (which I did not need at this point). In any case, what was really special about this whole situation was that Noel insisted on buying us mangoes from the locals on the way down. He also waited with us during our 2 hours on the beach, and afterward led us to the home of one of his distant family members, proudly boasting that he had a place for us to shower. We ended up in a backyard washing the sand off our bodies with a bucket (which I essentially do consider a "shower" at this point in my time here). Where else would you get this type of service and attention? Only on Isle de Tigre!
In any case, our time on the island was beautiful, but a bit heartbreaking. As I said in an earlier post, the island itself holds such natural beauty that I could imagine remaining there for the rest of my life and being perfectly content. The sunsets are beyond marvelous. The mountains surrounding create a perfect setting for photo opportunities. As mentioned earlier though; these resources are being under utilized due to a lack of financial resources. The poverty on the island seems to be a degree worse than the poverty on the mainland.
We ended up staying our second night on the island in the house next door. There is a sweet couple living there who were renting out one room for 300 lempira a night, right next door the restaurant where we have eaten all of our meals during our past two trips. (As a side note, the owner of the hotel brought us out this delicious cornbread type of treat "on the house" last night as we downed our 4 cups of coffee. I think they must think all Americans are caffeine addicts after dealing with the likes of us for 3 days!) In any case; back to the owners of our humble abode for last night. Their names were MariaJesus and Adolpho, and we ended up sitting outside with them for several hours talking about the history of the island and their family who had departed to make a better life for themselves in the States, and also in Spain. I was surprised to learn that the island population is just 1300 people, and that most have fled to Tegus to seek work. What a shame that such a beautiful place is becoming deserted for the mere fact that there is no work to be found. I wish I could share the natural beauty of this destination with you all.
Today when we left, I was talking to one of the boat drivers and telling him how much I liked his "Playa Burro" shirt, complete with a moose swigging a hefty sized beer mug. He started to take it off of his body, saying he wanted to give it to me as a gift. I thought of the expression of "giving someone the shirt off their back" and have to admit that I did have some tears in my eyes as we coasted away from the island. When we got off at the dock in Coyolito to board the bus, one of the men who helped us out said "you have friends for life here. We know you now. Come back home again." I left with a number in my phone for the hotel, with a promise to go back again. I think I have fallen just as in love with Isla de Tigre as I have Juticalpa! I feel a longing to go back already!!!!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Random thoughts and worries...
Typically, I like to keep this blog as a means to update all of you at home on the things I have been doing here. I like to share stories about people, places, and events that have touched my heart because I know many of these same things have touched yours at one point or another. For some reason though; I am at a point in my journey here where I feel as though I need to take a deeper look at this experience and the place I am at in my life right now because of it. I guess I am sharing some of my current feelings and reactions on a more personal level than I ever have in my blog but for some reason I feel the need to do so.
Prior to my coming here, I just wasn't happy with my life in any aspect. I felt as though many of my relationships with people were strained, I was working a dead end job, and my faith in the good of humanity had all but disappeared. That is why I made the decision to come down here and spend a year trying to help better an organization and a group of people that myself and many people in my life who I consider important felt an attachment too. I believe that maybe by coming down here, I would find something that was missing in my life and gain some sense of direction on where I wanted to go from here both with my career and my personal life. I have to say that at times I feel very bipolar here- a rollercoaster of emotions to be exact. There are days where I will be laughing one moment, and break down into tears at the next. However. although this has definitely been the most difficult 6 months of my life it has also been the most fulfilling. I have learned things about myself that never would have been revealed to me had I not come here. I have found things about myself that I don't like and have resolved to change them. I have learned that I have talents that I never knew that I had before. I have figured out both my greatest strengths, and my greatest weaknesses as well. Coming here has stripped me down to my core and made me realize exactly who I am. Some of it is difficult to see, but sometimes you have to realize what things you need to work on in your life to get where you really want to go.
Being here has been so fulfilling. I often wonder how I will ever be able to return home. Sure, there are a million materialistic reasons to return home. There's the hot showers. There's the endless list of delicious foods that can't be obtained here. There's the family vacations on extravagant cruise ships. There's the nights out on the town in Boston and the 9.00 Expresso desserts with my girl friends.
Then of course there are the non-materialistic things- knowing that I have an amazing group of people around me who love and support me. There's the sense of comfort and familiarity that I don't have here. There's the knowing that those around me know me and understand me, and I can always be myself- flaws and all. There's the relationships that I have spent years developing with friends that will always be there no matter what. These are things I have learned to cherish during my time here that I maybe never really thought about before.
However; despite all these things I am starting to wonder- how will I ever return? I came here to search for things that I'll never find when I go back to the States. I worry that my life will seem even LESS fulfilled now that I have had this experience. I wonder if I'll ever be able to pick up and leave. A part of my heart will always have to be left here. Will I be able to function and return to a state of normalcy with so much of my heart left in this country? Friends here will be wearing the wardrobe of clothes I leave behind. Wendy will be wearing the bracelet I brought back for her from the States for being such a good friend to me. My students will forever hold on to the notebooks of English vocabulary words I have taught them. The friendship bracelets I have given them will be kept in safekeeping I am sure. I'm starting to feel as though this is becoming my home. I am starting to realize that I have come to a point in my journey here where I am in fact thinking of the day I eventually will have to leave. Despite my weeks of seemingly never-ending illnesses recently and my longing to go home and take a hot shower and see a REAL doctor, the thought of actually leaving and not turning back breaks my heart. I am starting to think about how I am going to be able to do it, and where I will go on my next journey when I do actually leave here. Where will I go from here? Who will I be? What will I ever do in my life that will rival what I'm doing now? In a school setting, where will I EVER find the challenge that I've found here (both behaviorally and academically- BELIEVE ME- teaching ESL is HARD!) When will I ever be embraced by a different culture and people the way I have been here? Where will I ever find another opportunity in my career to feel as though I am being surrounded by people who I have set out to help, but are in reality helping ME in more ways than I'll ever help them? When will I ever be humbled in this way again?
Prior to my coming here, I just wasn't happy with my life in any aspect. I felt as though many of my relationships with people were strained, I was working a dead end job, and my faith in the good of humanity had all but disappeared. That is why I made the decision to come down here and spend a year trying to help better an organization and a group of people that myself and many people in my life who I consider important felt an attachment too. I believe that maybe by coming down here, I would find something that was missing in my life and gain some sense of direction on where I wanted to go from here both with my career and my personal life. I have to say that at times I feel very bipolar here- a rollercoaster of emotions to be exact. There are days where I will be laughing one moment, and break down into tears at the next. However. although this has definitely been the most difficult 6 months of my life it has also been the most fulfilling. I have learned things about myself that never would have been revealed to me had I not come here. I have found things about myself that I don't like and have resolved to change them. I have learned that I have talents that I never knew that I had before. I have figured out both my greatest strengths, and my greatest weaknesses as well. Coming here has stripped me down to my core and made me realize exactly who I am. Some of it is difficult to see, but sometimes you have to realize what things you need to work on in your life to get where you really want to go.
Being here has been so fulfilling. I often wonder how I will ever be able to return home. Sure, there are a million materialistic reasons to return home. There's the hot showers. There's the endless list of delicious foods that can't be obtained here. There's the family vacations on extravagant cruise ships. There's the nights out on the town in Boston and the 9.00 Expresso desserts with my girl friends.
Then of course there are the non-materialistic things- knowing that I have an amazing group of people around me who love and support me. There's the sense of comfort and familiarity that I don't have here. There's the knowing that those around me know me and understand me, and I can always be myself- flaws and all. There's the relationships that I have spent years developing with friends that will always be there no matter what. These are things I have learned to cherish during my time here that I maybe never really thought about before.
However; despite all these things I am starting to wonder- how will I ever return? I came here to search for things that I'll never find when I go back to the States. I worry that my life will seem even LESS fulfilled now that I have had this experience. I wonder if I'll ever be able to pick up and leave. A part of my heart will always have to be left here. Will I be able to function and return to a state of normalcy with so much of my heart left in this country? Friends here will be wearing the wardrobe of clothes I leave behind. Wendy will be wearing the bracelet I brought back for her from the States for being such a good friend to me. My students will forever hold on to the notebooks of English vocabulary words I have taught them. The friendship bracelets I have given them will be kept in safekeeping I am sure. I'm starting to feel as though this is becoming my home. I am starting to realize that I have come to a point in my journey here where I am in fact thinking of the day I eventually will have to leave. Despite my weeks of seemingly never-ending illnesses recently and my longing to go home and take a hot shower and see a REAL doctor, the thought of actually leaving and not turning back breaks my heart. I am starting to think about how I am going to be able to do it, and where I will go on my next journey when I do actually leave here. Where will I go from here? Who will I be? What will I ever do in my life that will rival what I'm doing now? In a school setting, where will I EVER find the challenge that I've found here (both behaviorally and academically- BELIEVE ME- teaching ESL is HARD!) When will I ever be embraced by a different culture and people the way I have been here? Where will I ever find another opportunity in my career to feel as though I am being surrounded by people who I have set out to help, but are in reality helping ME in more ways than I'll ever help them? When will I ever be humbled in this way again?
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
A much needed update...
Hey all. I just realized it has been 2 weeks since I have updated my blog. Things have been absolutely insanely busy here, and I have had little time to actually sit down and think. I hope this entry finds you all well and healthy. I'd like to say a special congratulations to Bob and Sandy Fisher on the arrival of their new bundle of joy. I'd also like to extend a special congratulations to my friend Meghan on her pregnancy. I'm so happy for you all!!!!
I have to admit that I've had quite a challenging couple of weeks. I have been trying to work on some behavioral problems within my classroom and I broke down into tears the other day because I felt at "wit's end" with a couple of my students. I actually had two kids who were on suspension for 3 days last week for trying to strangle other students. To say that I've been a bit frustrated would be an understatement. Sometimes I feel as though all I do is play referee when I really want to be teaching. Thankfully, I have since gone to Annie's house and vented to her for 2 hours straight. I think that is all that I needed, because I was able to head back into my classroom last week and implement new behavioral methods that SEEM to be working (knock on wood!) Additionally, one of the parents approached me on the playground last week and thanked me for being so hard on her son. She told me that she was "on board" with me with any behavioral expectations I wanted to set. The crazy father who yelled at me on the bus in November has also been super nice to me as well. He brought me a piece of chocolate cake today at lunch. All in all, it has been the usual rollercoaster that being here in general has been for me. I know that in the end, everything I am doing is in the best interest of my children. Let me tell you though; disciplining here is HARD!!!!! I am known as the "tough teacher" around here. I never thought I would hear myself with that type of label. Yikes!!!!
On a more positive note, we are well into the third of four quarters at Santa Clara. Last week was the true test of how much my students have learned up until this point. I have to proudly announce that out of 43 students, only 3 will probably not move on to second grade next year. I can hardly believe that 40 students who did not know a word of English in September know all of their letters and sounds. I have about a dozen who are actually reading in English. Every morning, the other section of first graders (who are with Brenda first thing) come in to say that they want to spend the entire day in English class. I must be doing something right!
On a sadder note, I have to say that I was a bit heartbroken last week. DonaMarina, who is one of the cleaning women at Santa Clara was in my class cleaning up after our Valentines Day party. She is a woman with a heart of gold, who is always inviting me over to her house, or making me a cup of hot coffee in the morning (which I gratefully take...although WHO drinks hot coffee in 100 degree heat?). In any case, after our party I caught her poking through my trash can and stuffing the remains of a Valentines Day cake (all that was left was the frosting and some crumbs) into her purse. It is so often that I forget how poor she really is. I learned that she only makes about 3.00 a day working at Santa Clara, and she has a daughter in the second grade. I am living a pretty simple life on my 50.00 a week stipend, so I cannot even begin to fathom the struggles that she is facing. It's so hard to remember how she lives, because she comes to work with a smile on her face every morning, and is always wondering how I am doing. She never ever complains about her struggles. I guess what she lacks in material riches she makes up for in spirit and heart.
I wanted to announce that I will be home for the Semana Santa week in April. I'll actually be taking a few extra days off and flying back here with the Holy Family group on April 16th. As much as I would have loved to travel to Costa Rica, I really think I just need a couple of weeks of doing absolutely NOTHING. I need to just relax and process everything that has been happening around me. And honestly; I'd rather spend the 2 weeks with my family and friends who I am missing quite a bit these days. Besides, there's always next year's Semana Santa for a trip to Costa Rica; right? :-)
I have to admit that I've had quite a challenging couple of weeks. I have been trying to work on some behavioral problems within my classroom and I broke down into tears the other day because I felt at "wit's end" with a couple of my students. I actually had two kids who were on suspension for 3 days last week for trying to strangle other students. To say that I've been a bit frustrated would be an understatement. Sometimes I feel as though all I do is play referee when I really want to be teaching. Thankfully, I have since gone to Annie's house and vented to her for 2 hours straight. I think that is all that I needed, because I was able to head back into my classroom last week and implement new behavioral methods that SEEM to be working (knock on wood!) Additionally, one of the parents approached me on the playground last week and thanked me for being so hard on her son. She told me that she was "on board" with me with any behavioral expectations I wanted to set. The crazy father who yelled at me on the bus in November has also been super nice to me as well. He brought me a piece of chocolate cake today at lunch. All in all, it has been the usual rollercoaster that being here in general has been for me. I know that in the end, everything I am doing is in the best interest of my children. Let me tell you though; disciplining here is HARD!!!!! I am known as the "tough teacher" around here. I never thought I would hear myself with that type of label. Yikes!!!!
On a more positive note, we are well into the third of four quarters at Santa Clara. Last week was the true test of how much my students have learned up until this point. I have to proudly announce that out of 43 students, only 3 will probably not move on to second grade next year. I can hardly believe that 40 students who did not know a word of English in September know all of their letters and sounds. I have about a dozen who are actually reading in English. Every morning, the other section of first graders (who are with Brenda first thing) come in to say that they want to spend the entire day in English class. I must be doing something right!
On a sadder note, I have to say that I was a bit heartbroken last week. DonaMarina, who is one of the cleaning women at Santa Clara was in my class cleaning up after our Valentines Day party. She is a woman with a heart of gold, who is always inviting me over to her house, or making me a cup of hot coffee in the morning (which I gratefully take...although WHO drinks hot coffee in 100 degree heat?). In any case, after our party I caught her poking through my trash can and stuffing the remains of a Valentines Day cake (all that was left was the frosting and some crumbs) into her purse. It is so often that I forget how poor she really is. I learned that she only makes about 3.00 a day working at Santa Clara, and she has a daughter in the second grade. I am living a pretty simple life on my 50.00 a week stipend, so I cannot even begin to fathom the struggles that she is facing. It's so hard to remember how she lives, because she comes to work with a smile on her face every morning, and is always wondering how I am doing. She never ever complains about her struggles. I guess what she lacks in material riches she makes up for in spirit and heart.
I wanted to announce that I will be home for the Semana Santa week in April. I'll actually be taking a few extra days off and flying back here with the Holy Family group on April 16th. As much as I would have loved to travel to Costa Rica, I really think I just need a couple of weeks of doing absolutely NOTHING. I need to just relax and process everything that has been happening around me. And honestly; I'd rather spend the 2 weeks with my family and friends who I am missing quite a bit these days. Besides, there's always next year's Semana Santa for a trip to Costa Rica; right? :-)
Monday, February 2, 2009
Tengo meido!!!!
Hello all...things are really starting to "heat up" here. Gone are the days of going for runs at 3:00 in the afternoon and enjoying a nice breeze. I came in from my afternoon run (which I left for at 3:00) and I have decided I don't think I'll be doing that again anytime soon. Since it hasn't rained too often, my lungs are full of dust. I also don't think I've ever sweat so much in my life. Thank GOD I have a shower that works here at the Colonia. I think I'm going to be using it more and more frequently!
In any case; I just wanted to share a bit of a funny story from my classroom last week. We read a story about Franklin (for those of you over 12 and/or those of you who don't work with children); Franklin is a turtle and a popular children's icon. In any case; in this particular story, Franklin was afraid of the dark and didn't like to hide in his own shell. After the story, I had the children share some of the things that they were afraid of. Most of the answers were pretty predictable: spiders, bugs, the dark, big dogs. However; a half a dozen or so kids kept screaming out "Chookie, chookie!" I had no clue what this was, so I asked Wendy (my third grade teacher friend) what on earth the kids wer etalking about. Well, lo and behold; they were making a reference to CHUCKIE. As in, the scary redhead doll from the horror movies. I don't know why I thought it was so comical, but apparently "Chookie" is huge here even though he is well past his day in the States. :-) Just thought I'd share a little Juticalpan comedy with you all.
Bree and I enjoyed a lovely weekend in Isla De Tigre; which is the southernmost part of Honduras. It's actually an island a 15 minute boat ride off of Coyolito (southernmost point). From the island, you can see the neighboring countries of Gautamala and El Salvador. Pretty darn cool, if you ask me! In any case, we enjoyed 2 days of swimming on black sand beaches (my first time swimming in the ocean in Honduras...can you believe it), and enjoying fresh squeezed lemonade in the hotel hammocks. There's more. Get this: We enjoyed LOBSTER for only 10.00 U.S money!!!! The seafood was incredible! I had this fantastic soup with lobster tail, crab legs, and steamers in this ridiculously delicious cream broth. Mmmmm! O.k, enough about the food! (Sorry, I can't help myself when it comes to talking about good culinary experiences, since they are few and far between here). In any case, the weekend was fun but tiring . It was a 7 hour trip that required us to switch buses 3 times to get where we were going. Add in the factor that we only had a regular 2 day weekend to do all of this, and you have the equation for fatigue.
In any case, the island was beautiful, but a bit saddening. It was breathtaking and there is so much potential there for an amazing tourist destination. We talked to a couple of the locals, and it seems like it is a "hot spot" for the Holy Week for some of the Hondurans and a frequent backpacker stop for people like ourselves; but overall the island's beauty is under utilized because of the poverty and lack of people who can invest in it. I definitely hope to head back again at some point during my stay here.
Speaking of my stay, I wanted to announce that I am seriously considering the possibility of staying here another year. I have really begun to "find my groove" in the past 6 or 8 weeks and I think I could accomplish even MORE next year having a year of experience under my belt. Just a thought, but it is something I am considering!
Hope you are all doing well! I know you were eagerly looking forward to this entry :-) (I got a couple of emails this week from past Team Members). Love and miss you all!
In any case; I just wanted to share a bit of a funny story from my classroom last week. We read a story about Franklin (for those of you over 12 and/or those of you who don't work with children); Franklin is a turtle and a popular children's icon. In any case; in this particular story, Franklin was afraid of the dark and didn't like to hide in his own shell. After the story, I had the children share some of the things that they were afraid of. Most of the answers were pretty predictable: spiders, bugs, the dark, big dogs. However; a half a dozen or so kids kept screaming out "Chookie, chookie!" I had no clue what this was, so I asked Wendy (my third grade teacher friend) what on earth the kids wer etalking about. Well, lo and behold; they were making a reference to CHUCKIE. As in, the scary redhead doll from the horror movies. I don't know why I thought it was so comical, but apparently "Chookie" is huge here even though he is well past his day in the States. :-) Just thought I'd share a little Juticalpan comedy with you all.
Bree and I enjoyed a lovely weekend in Isla De Tigre; which is the southernmost part of Honduras. It's actually an island a 15 minute boat ride off of Coyolito (southernmost point). From the island, you can see the neighboring countries of Gautamala and El Salvador. Pretty darn cool, if you ask me! In any case, we enjoyed 2 days of swimming on black sand beaches (my first time swimming in the ocean in Honduras...can you believe it), and enjoying fresh squeezed lemonade in the hotel hammocks. There's more. Get this: We enjoyed LOBSTER for only 10.00 U.S money!!!! The seafood was incredible! I had this fantastic soup with lobster tail, crab legs, and steamers in this ridiculously delicious cream broth. Mmmmm! O.k, enough about the food! (Sorry, I can't help myself when it comes to talking about good culinary experiences, since they are few and far between here). In any case, the weekend was fun but tiring . It was a 7 hour trip that required us to switch buses 3 times to get where we were going. Add in the factor that we only had a regular 2 day weekend to do all of this, and you have the equation for fatigue.
In any case, the island was beautiful, but a bit saddening. It was breathtaking and there is so much potential there for an amazing tourist destination. We talked to a couple of the locals, and it seems like it is a "hot spot" for the Holy Week for some of the Hondurans and a frequent backpacker stop for people like ourselves; but overall the island's beauty is under utilized because of the poverty and lack of people who can invest in it. I definitely hope to head back again at some point during my stay here.
Speaking of my stay, I wanted to announce that I am seriously considering the possibility of staying here another year. I have really begun to "find my groove" in the past 6 or 8 weeks and I think I could accomplish even MORE next year having a year of experience under my belt. Just a thought, but it is something I am considering!
Hope you are all doing well! I know you were eagerly looking forward to this entry :-) (I got a couple of emails this week from past Team Members). Love and miss you all!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
